I think I may have said that a few times.
So I go in today and the woman at the blood lab who knows me pretty well since this is my 9th monitored cycle asked if "today was the day" . When I said no she looked puzzled and told me my LH went up yesterday. Following this the u/s tech told me she could tell I was about to ovulate because of fluid build up. She asked if it was my day for my IUI and when I said no she suggested I talk to the nurse.
Can anyone really blame me for being so confused? I'm on the verge of tears. Here comes the TTC hysteria again.
Luckily the doctor who is performing the IUI appointments today is my doctor. I talked to the nurse (I think she hates me) and asked if I could sign-up to speak with the doctor and see my results. She said I could so I'm going back at 12:30. The last thing I want to hear is that my LH is high and go in tomorrow to see that I've ovulated.
On one hand I do not want to do this because I feel like I shouldn't be questioning authority. I feel like I could mess up my cycle by not trusting them. On the other hand I think it can't hurt to at least ask the questions and see my results. After all, I have reason to be worried because they have missed my ovulation in the past so I know it can happen.
I also ordered a second vial of sperm which is on the road RIGHT NOW to arrive at my clinic at 11:00 am. Therefore if my LH is high today, I'll inseminate, trigger and go back in for a second IUI tomorrow. Even if my LH is low today and I decided to trigger and go in tomorrow I will not regret having the second vial. This was the last unit they had on hand for this donor and if this cycle does not work I'll want to try with him again anyway so we'll just send it back and store it. It's a win-win situation in my opinion.
I've also decided that this is the last try at this clinic. I had thought about switching doctors but I already have a referral to a second clinic. For the longest time I kept talking myself into thinking it's not so bad but then I get into a cycle and want to trust them and I get mixed signals. There is a huge barrier at this clinic between patient and doctor. You ask your doctor a question and they say they can't answer it because your file is with cycle monitoring, you ask the cycle monitoring nurse a question and she tells you to speak to your doctor.
I think I need a smaller setting so I've switched to a clinic that is not "cattle call". I've heard good things about it. It may cost more but at this point I do not care. How can you put a price tag on trust and comfort? I e-mailed them today and asked for an appointment in the new year. I am not saying this cycle is a write-off because I do not think it is. Really, it's another win-win situation. I either get pregnant and cancel the consultation or I get to go to a new clinic by my next cycle.
It's so hard to know when/if to do a switch to a different clinic. I have considered it since I haven't yet seen results from this clinic. My fear is that another clinic could be worse (such as the one you describe you are currently in!). What if I'm at a good clinic and go to one that treats me the way you're being treated. I think if I were you, I'd jump ship on that place. They seem so utterly clueless.
ReplyDeleteAs if this process wasn't hard enough already. I swear most of the people that work at these clinics must have had nothing but "oops" pregnancies because they seem to have little regard for how difficult it is to TTC.
I don't think it hurts to discuss things and communicate about it. It is your body afterall.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the new place if it comes to that (hopefully not). I really do think that the doctor/nurse makes a big difference. Yes, the testing process is all very conveyer belt only because there are huge throngs of women getting blood and ultrasound tests done. But I have always been able to talk to the nurse or doctor and they have always been receptive of what we want. I think they make the experience for people and you obviously got a bad doctor/nurse combo unfortunately. We once had another doctor there perform the IUI and we could not stand her! But Dr. R is wonderful and I miss her when we're not TTC. Seriously. So the experience should be a good one for you where ever you are. I'm just sorry that a place we loved was awful for you.
my two cents, get a new RE stat! this process is stressful enough on its own. you should be able to feel comfortable asking questions and feel confident that your team is doing everything possible on your behalf to have a successful cycle. sorry you are having to deal with this today.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your thoughts on my situation with the clinic. I needed that. I feel like I'm the crazy one who is complaining for nothing. )=
ReplyDeleteJ - I agree with S - you need a new clinic - hopefully you won't need one and you will get pregnant this time, but...
ReplyDeleteMy clinic is expensive, but it is very small and there is one nurse who knows everything about me. She has other staff that can do stuff and take blood etc and one staff does the billing, and then there are only two docs, but I know that she will call me back and talk to me. the doctor is fine - I have only seen him twice so far - once for the initial consult and yesterday for the HSG, but I know that she consults him and he consults her on everything. So in some ways small is good. I was actually excited to see some other people yesterday as usually when I go I don't see anyone else!
Good luck, take care of yourself and don't be too hard on yourself.
Rooting for you over here:)