The Weekend

I would normally say "TGIF" but I had so much work to do this week it would be nice if it was still Wednesday. A Pro and Con of my job is that I work pretty much on my own schedule. I do not have a shift or any set time to be at work as long as I make my meetings and meet my deadlines. I can also work from home whenever I need to. Sometimes this works out well but other times (like now) when a number of deadlines collide it's exhausting. So, it's Friday night and I'll probably be up past midnight and we have a really busy weekend!
Anyway, we have a car this weekend - a Dodge Caliber. After driving the Yaris it feels like a TANK. I wasn't very happy getting this car. I was hoping for a Ford Focus. Oh well. I won't complain yet. That will be after I fill up the tank!
Also, I'm feeling a lot like AF is on its way. I was hoping I had until next week because I haven't made it for my Bloodwork. First it was avoidance and then it was being too busy at work. September and October have been crazy. I'll call on Monday to get myself set-up and I'll do my first round of bloodwork Tuesday and the second Wednesday. I may be back in the game!!

Spring Awakening

Spring Awakening is closing on Broadway and it's not alone. The following shows are all closing/have closed:
RENT
Title of Show
Spamalot
Xanadu
Hairspray
Legally Blonde

A curious note was posted with the article on Playbill.com:
And while our Broadway run will come to an end this January, Spring Awakening will continue to touch audiences across the country, through our national tour, and around the world, with productions soon to open in London, Vienna, Toronto, Helsinki and Seoul."

Are we getting our own sit down production? I had assumed that Mirvish was bringing it as a part of a National Tour and it would only be here for a couple of months. Interesting if true but another failure for an attempt at a long running show. I doubt it will last. It's too bad we didn't get Wicked like Chicago. That would have lasted for a few years.

Spring Awakening Original Broadway Cast - GAP Ad

Winter Solstice

I'm starting to plan my lantern for this years Festival of Lights. I really wanted to go all out and make a very detailed lantern. I've decided on making a fantail goldfish like the ones below. I think I may be biting off more than I can chew but we'll see if I can do it! I can't wait to get started and will post my progress.

Disney etc

We've received our Disneyland vacation planning DVD in the mail and I've been brainwashed big time! It looks like it will be excellent for little ones. Now I need to a) Get Pregnant and b) Get over my debilitating fear of flying so we can go! I doubt our LO will be more than a year before we go the first time. I actually cringe when people say they are waiting until their kids are "8 or 9" so they can "appreciate the vacation". I'm sure our children will be on some form of Disney vacation about 5 times by that age!
The one thing I will wait on is the Disney Cruise. D and I did this a few years ago and had a great time but I'm not going to rush back with a toddler. The schedule is hectic and I doubt we'd be able to keep a little one up for dinner let alone the after dinner show. I would want our child to be at least 6 or 7 years old before we take that vacation.

Something to see

Something to save for another day.. I've never noticed this artwork before:

What's up with that?
Keith-Haringesque art

Q I’ve noticed a few pieces of sidewalk slabs around SoHo that have some Keith-Haringesque art. The one on the corner of Broadway and Prince Street seems to be signed by “Ken ’84.” I love them and worry they’ll be destroyed/removed one day, and wonder, Who is Ken? What happened in 1984?—Michele Perez, East Village

A The man behind the masterpieces is Kenichi Hiratsuka, a native of Japan who moved to NYC in 1982. In those days, the Cold War was on everyone’s mind and Hiratsuka wondered, “What would be left over in human society, just in case humans go extinct?” So he started carving into the city’s sidewalks. Since the artist planned on his work surviving atomic warfare, you can probably quit worrying about the artsy walkways being demolished.

Hiratsuka’s newest sidewalk carving was just completed in February 2008; check it out at 25 Bond Street between Lafayette Street and Bowery. It’s based on the same concept as his earlier works: “If I start carving one continuous line, a spiral, that never crosses itself…just expanding, expanding, expanding, expanding, then I can carve all the earth into a sculpture,” he says.

Legally Blonde The Musical

First off, we are total suckers for punishment. When Legally Blonde the Musical was first announced I was one of those who was crying Broadway blasphemy (that title now goes to Shrek the Musical). However when it opened it was pink and sparkly and I love things that are pink and sparkly. I wanted to see it but not bad enough to pay even TKTS prices.
Then came the MTV show "search for the next Elle Woods". Hook. Line. Sinker. I had to see the show so naturally when I saw it was going to Shea's I thought it was a good compromise. I wouldn't be wasting valuable Broadway viewing hours but I'd still get to see it.
Well.
It was mediocre. Definitely not the worst show I've seen (that would be Disney's On the Line) or even as bad as We will rock You. It had it's moments.... however... it was pretty much what I should have expected from a movie made into a musical. I know the Broadway set was more elaborate so maybe that helped?
That said, what I didn't expect was it to have the following extremely offensive song. I know that this was part of the movie and it was stereotyped there too but it just wasn't anything like this. You have to see it, there's no description.

Fast forward to 4:14....



Anyway... pretty crazy, huh? No wonder this closed on Broadway!
D and I have decided that from now on we probably wont do tours. Most people do not see the difference but a Tour is never the same as the Broadway show. The blocking and set will almost always be different so If you want to see the Broadway show you really should go to NYC. I know that is not realistic but at the very least we stand by our rule to never ever ever see a Non-Equity production.

Buffalo

We're back from our "Shopping/Legally Blonde the Musical" trip to Buffalo.
Shopping was excellent, Legally Blonde was mediocre and slightly offensive. I'll elaborate on Legally Blonde in a separate post but as for shopping... we're almost done for Christmas and got some great deals.

For my Dad - 2 Ralph Lauren Polo shirts & C.O. Bigelow Shaving Cream and Body/Shave Gel. There was an amazing sale at Ralph Lauren, $12.99 for polo shirts. The Shaving Cream/Body wash was buy 1 get one free at Bath and Body Works. I'll buy him some lotto tickets to top this off.

For my Step-mom - 3 Yankee Candle Co. jar candles, PJ's - on sale for $4.98 at Target but quite nice and Slippers from Bath and Body Works. The slippers were also buy one get one free so I got a pair as well! My step-mom is done.

My Brother - So far only a funky hoodie with guitars on it, 50% off at J.C. Penny. I have tons left to buy for him.

My Mother-in-law - A Japanese Cherry Blossom purfume gift set from Bath and Body Works, PJ's (same as my step-mom), 3 picture frames. We have more to buy.

Nephew J - Birthday Present - Nick and Nora PJ's from Target. They look like flannel and are really soft and stretchy with a cowboy theme. Christmas Present - Football Hoodie from The Children's Place, and a Shake N Go playset (Cars).

Nephew E - Birthday Present - Nick and Nora PJ's from Target. Same as Nephew J but different pattern, sock monkey and stars. Christmas Present - Hoodie from Children's Place, and a "Bling, Bling" Lightning McQueen (also Disney Cars). I can't find it online but it's a giant car that has buttons you can press to make sounds and lots of stuff to touch like the rims which spin and and the ability to move his eyes. Nephew E is blind so we wanted to find something with lots of things to touch and buttons to press.

Niece - A - Christmas Present - A cute Hoodie from Target, leggings and a Nick and Nora nightgown. We need to buy her a toy.


Since we're banned from the kids we're buying less than last year. We don't know how my SIL will react to the presents. Hopefully she'll understand the children shouldn't suffer and not throw them out. Normally we go crazy buying clothes for them but this year we won't. When they need/want our help again they can ask.

My family is big on buying for kids, not adults. This means I have a lot of work to get my brother's gifts ready but I can finish up my Dad and step-mom quickly. D's family isn't like that so we'll need to still do some shopping for her mom.

Great...

Our dishwasher is leaking.
We just paid $88 for the repair guy to tell us it's the motor and we'd need to replace the whole thing. He thought it "wouldn't be under $300" so it would probably be cheaper to buy a new machine.
We'll have to see what he says when he calls back with our quote.
I doubt we'll be getting a new one for a few weeks since we're pretty busy and I don't feel like appliance shopping. Maybe if Sears sells Whirlpool brand we'll be able to get one there. That would be easy because it's just downtown.
Damn it. Our luck seems to have run out lately.

KD drama ended

I saw our KD yesterday and told him we would not be needing his services. He seemed very relieved. My guess is he only offered because he's known how hard this has been on me and how upset we were when D's brother was no longer an option. I don't think he fully understood the commitment he was making when he offered.
Also, I didn't want to say it but my BIL would actually be a better option at this point if we were going to use a KD but that is in no way my priority. We're just hoping he calls us back (we've been trying for 2 weeks) so we can try to patch things up. All I want from him is access to his kids. I think he'll fold soon but unfortunately the kids are old enough to report back to mom who they've seen so sneaking around is not an option. I can just see my nephew telling his mom he saw Aunt Jushie (what he calls me) and her having a fit.

Frank

Frank is feeling much better...

I found him in this position when I went upstairs to grab something. I had to run back downstairs to grab the camera and was pleased to see he hadn't moved.
You can see his shaved tail and both shaved arms. Poor boy. Clearly he hasn't been negatively impacted by the recent ordeal. He's a pretty cool cat.

Also...
My little Monster in his Halloween Costume: Frank as Frankenstein! I thought it was brilliant.
I'm sure this was intended for a dog because cats are not usually this accommodating. Frank doesn't seem to complain when I take away his dignity.

Driving, Moving, etc.

The car we have this week is a 2008 Yaris sedan - how appropriate. Although we've driven the hatchback numerous times (it's one of our zipcar choices) this is our first time with the sedan. We were surprised how the trunk space on the sedan really makes up for what the hatchback is lacking and we are enjoying the car.
As for my mom and her new hatchback, what can you do? I wish she'd bought a car with a little more CAR but since she's happy I didn't say anything other than "congratulations".
As for us, since we have a car we've been doing "car things" like going to the drive-in and shopping at Bed Bath and Beyond - which isn't in Downtown Toronto. Having a car makes me feel like I need to leave and go to the burbs. I know there will be a trip to Vaughan Mills. I know it's coming.
We went to visit my parents yesterday. My dad is obsessed with me moving home. We even toured a house that was for sale around the corner from him. He said that he thought his neighbour would be selling soon and said I could move next door to him. I'm not sure how well that would go over when we need to take in my mother after she's spent all her money and needs to move back. I'm sure my step-mom would love that!
The house around the corner (a better distance) was pretty nice. It's a split level with 3 bedrooms and a huge yard attached to my brothers elementary school playground. It needs work to rescue it from the 70's but it had tons of potential like exposed brick walls, a new kitchen and a wood burning fireplace. I love my dad's neighbourhood and living around the corner from him would have a lot of perks - like his hot tub and pool! Unfortunately this is not something we can do right now. We've been talking a lot about moving back but it won't work if we both continue to work in Toronto. We'd need to start looking for jobs first. I tried to explain this to my father but he didn't get it. He doesn't get how little we pay for transportation right now. If we were to commute we would need to pay $700/month in GO fare, I would need to still pay TTC ($100), and we'd need a car. We'd essentially be paying a $1000 more per month and would have less time at home since we'd be spending so much time commuting. Sorry, but that doesn't make sense at all. D spent one summer commuting to Toronto when she was in University and she said it was pure hell. I'd have to agree and say it doesn't sound like fun at all.
So we have a desire to move closer to family but it would mean a drastic change since it would involve finding new work. We'll have to see. I think I'll start looking and see what I find.

Seriously?

Seriously.. My mother just called and told me she bought a 2008 Yaris hatchback.
I think the Yaris is an adorable car but the hatchback version is crazy small. What was she thinking?
I hope its heavy enough to stay firmly put on the road this winter and she's not going to land herself in a ditch - or worse. The Yaris (IMHO) is a city car. You do not own it in the north where winter weather is harsh and roads are not cleared. I hope this works out for her!
Winter at my mothers (Above).

Moving on...

I started deleting and then I stopped. Taking away the things I've written won't change the fact that they've happened and I need to vent somewhere.

I need to move on..

Life can be unfair

On our way home from the vet last night D and I decided to take the TTC instead of a cab. I'm certain Frank enjoyed this because he was very curious and looking all around as we were outside.
While waiting for the street car a "homeless looking" man came up to us and asked if we could spare money or ttc fare. We said no because we always do. We live downtown and this happens every single day.
It was raining out (a light drizzle) and already dark when the Street car came. The man who had asked us for money boarded and presented a transfer to the operator which the operator refused. He asked if he could look and see if he had fare and the driver impatiently agreed. We saw the man search through his bag and go back to the driver and say he didn't have any money. The driver told him he'd have to exit the streetcar at the next stop.
I felt awful so I gave him a token. He thanked us over and over saying that he needed to get to Bloor and Spadina (we caught the streetcar at Broadview) and we really helped him out. He was a very sweet man but he looked like he'd had a hard life. I guess the TTC cannot allow people to ride transit for free but with the current rates it is becoming a privilege people cannot afford.
Well, it turns out the Streetcar operator was a hypocritical bastard. When we got to Sherbourne (3rd stop before subway) a clean-cut University type guy boarded and asked if he could "pay at the station". In other words, travel on the street car for free. Did the Operator even think twice? No. He said "sure, pay at the station". life can be unfair, point #1. Let the homeless guy out in the rain but let the preppy guy ride for free. I don't care if it was 3 blocks vs. 30. If you're going to be a hard ass at least be consistent.
Life can be unfair point #2, D and I were just discussing the issue with her brother and CAS. Unless I've heard the conversation first hand it's very hard to get clear answers over what she's discussed with her mother. Apparently CAS was very hard on her brother and said he was an unfit parent. This is extremely ironic considering my complaint to CAS did center around my SIL wanting to give up the kids. I said many times that I thought my BIL was in a bad situation because he was not getting help from his wife who worked nights while the kids were at home (they are in daycare during the day) and that he was overwhelmed but wanted to keep them. There are TWO parents in that household and if one is being called unfit they should both be accused. Or I guess because my SIL spends her time at work (double shifts, even weekends) and sleeping when the children are home she can't be considered the unfit parent because she's not actually there to parent - but she is the mother so that's automatically more important.
I am in no way defending some of the stupid things my BIL has done because he does show poor judgment at times however my point to CAS should not have made this about him. He is never going to be able to defend himself the way he should because his wife is sweet and quiet and would quite easily be able to use that to her defense. My BIL on the other hand can be completely stunned and as previously mentioned can show poor judgment and/or say stupid things.
This is officially a disaster. I don't know what we can say to make it better because we've made the situation worse.
Isn't it great when people pass judgments before understanding the real situation?

The S#IT has hit the fan

Yep. It has.
But first I need to say that Frank had his stitches removed tonight and he's doing great! The Dr. said we are extremely lucky because this kind of injury usually results in amputation. He said the next 4 days will be crucial so we need to make sure Frank doesn't lick or bite the wound. Hes' back in the cone.

Now the bad news.
CAS finally did a home visit and boy is my SIL angry. We're now officially cut off from the kids. Honestly, it took so long for this to happen that I thought it wasn't going to. The feedback so far is that she is FURIOUS with us and she knows we called because "the questions they asked made it obvious". They think we did this to get the kids. Not true. I guess she's forgetting that we called when she was was trying to get rid of them herself.
Honestly, I feel the call was justified. I called because I was worried that they were taking drastic actions (trying to give up all of the their children) in an escalating fashion. Of course, CAS asked why they'd want to give up their kids. I then said what our concerns were and what had happened. etc. etc.
There are things that I am not going to get into on here that I felt were an issue enough to mention and D and I both agreed we should call. I have no regrets.
I guess this explains why we cannot get in contact with them at all this week.

Donor Stress Part 2

I'm still not 100% confident in our choice to use a KD. Although I want the advantage of free sperm and no clinic I'm also really nervous when I think about the potential issues we'll face in the future. Our Anonymous donor is ID release. We'll be able to tell our child(ren) they will receive information about their Donor when they turn 18. They'll also know things like what he looks like (from his childhood photo), his occupation, how many siblings he has and what nationality he is. These things all seem weak when you think that's the ONLY information you'll be able to provide but the alternative for us is even worse (ironically). Using a known donor who is anonymous means we won't even be able to tell our child the nationality he is because that would give away too much information.
I really wish this wasn't so difficult. I told D tonight that I'd like to try our last Anonymous Donor again because he got me pregnant (albeit chemical) on my last try. Maybe he's our lucky guy and it will work again.
It's amazing that at one point I thought we had things all worked out with my BIL and I was afraid I was pregnant by a "stranger". Maybe I've watched too much Oprah (I haven't really, I can't stand her) but I'm so worried that we are making such life altering decisions. I'm so worried about how our child will feel and at the same time worried about how we'll feel. KD or Anonymous donor, I'm not sure who wins. Will our child have more peace of mind growing up with an anonymous donor ID release donor or an anonymous known (to us only) donor?

Donor Stress

I'm on CD3... and I'm thinking about trying this cycle. I just don't know what to do about our donor issue.
BIL is no longer our donor although we have an option for another KD who wishes to remain anonymous "always & forever" so I can't really say much about him. I'm not so happy about that because if this person is in our life our kid may figure out who he is and that will be an awful situation... this person may not be so bright but that's possibly giving away a lot.
I'd go back to the sperm bank and the clinic but D is being pretty stubborn about the money.
I'm stuck in the middle.
I can't believe we're on try #7.