Names

I love picking out names -
At this point in time, if we have a girl it will likely be:
Sadie Elaine Z-lastname
Katelyn Elys Z.........

or a boy:
Owen Samual Z.......
Jackson Grier Z....... (I prefer"Jack" but DW wants Jackson)

Family and TTC and High Blood Pressure

My DW's family have been more than accepting and is very excited for us - it's the best thing ever! My family is not the same at all. My mom has said some really horrible things about how having a child will ruin your life (I'm an only child so how does that feel?) and to really think about it... I got mad at her and asked her not to provide any further insight on how big of a mistake it would be and since then she's come around a bit. She actually called to find out the results of my first try. My dad is another story. We've decided we'll announce once I'm pregnant because he can be really insensitive. He often says that I'll never give him a grandchild and that angers me so much - why wouldn't I? I have a very weak relationship with him right now - we can spend time together and enjoy each others company but he always has to ruin it by say ingsomething mean about "the gays". I'm hoping that our child will bring my family back into my life in a positive way. It's hard right now to keep them happy - I'm hoping they will eventually just be happy without all of the walking on eggshells.

I haven't been feeling well. I've been sick with a headache and a mind fogginess for the past week. I finally went to the doctor this morning and she said my blood pressure is high. I have 2 weeks to try to lower it by eliminating salt from my diet and if it hasn't improved I'll need to go on meds. I asked how that would affect a pregnancy and she said it would put me into a higher risk category. I'm really feeling bummed right now.

Clomid

My RE offered it and I declined becuase I was concerned about the possible side effects of medicating without reason. I'm doing 3 un-medicated cycles before switching to Clomid.

Money is my main concern and I'm thinking about asking my Doctor for Clomid for my next cycle. That and the fact that I have to try every 2 months right now due to schedule conflicts.

I was prepared to pay the $1200/month to do this and did expect to go the distance but I wasn't prepared for how I feel now after my first attempt. I can honestly say I do not feel like I got any bang for my buck... just cramping & stress. That's a pretty crappy deal IMHO!!

AF Arrived - BFN #1

I woke up with AF this morning so I'm out of the race. The good thing is that after all the POAS I'd done I'm not really upset. I'd rather move on than stay in a state of uncertainty.

That said, I guess I have no choice but to paint the baseboards and door frames. Damn it - I was really hoping to be off the hook.

Tomorrow I'm supposed to be going in for my pre-scheduled bloodwork but I have AF so its rather obvious... not sure what to do or if its protocol to end my cycle. I think I'm going to skip it and call and ask instead because the LAST thing I want to do is go in early for bloodwork to be called and told something I already know.

Still BFN

I keep waiting for my BFP but sadly keep seeing a BFN. AF should arrive Monday which is also when I go back to the clinic for my bloodwork.

BFN 10 DPI

I used my first HPT (ever) and the result was a BFN (10DPI).

I guess this is why people do not test early! I knew it was early and that didn't stop me. It also didn't stop me from going to the dollar store to check if they had HPT (they did!), buying one and trying it as soon as I got home. Also, BFN. lol The good news is I can buy $1 tests so I'm going to go back tomorrow and get a few...er.... several and will have a POAS party.

My First Pregnancy Tests

I finally went out and bought 2 HPT. It was a 2 pack for $18.99...yikes... and plan on testing tomorrow morning (10 DPI) and then again on either Saturday or Sunday 13/14 DPI. I have my actual blood test at the clinic booked for Monday morning. The tests I bought were the "First Response" ones that claim to show results 4 days before a missed period. I know Its working out that I'm only going to be able to try once every 2 months until the beginning of March if I'm not lucky sooner than that. I'll be away for my insem at the end of this month/beginning of November and then my clinic is closed the first week of January. That leaves my 2nd try in December and 3rd in February. Arghhhhhh.... It sucks that I'm missing 2 opportunities!!!!!

Not Feeling Pregnant

I'm on 8DPI and haven't really felt much. On Sunday morning I woke up at 4:30 am sick to my stomach (threw up) and went back to bed. We got all excited thinking it could be morning sickness but I think it was more likely exhaustion from being at my cousins wedding the day before. Other than that. I'm not feeling anything.... I'm not expecting a BFP this try since this is only try #1 so I'm trying not to set myself up for disapointment by thinking too much about it.

No Control

I'm soooo tempted to start charting... I think I'd feel more in control but since I do have the opportunity to have cycle monitoring for free that is probably what I should do and not spend money on an OPK. For this cycle I'll just wait....and worry....

Aside from CM I'm also worrying about what I eat, what I lift.. I'm going crazy!

Freaking out already

Yy insem yesterday was at the 30 hour mark past my LH Surge on a fully moniterd cycle but I didn't have EWCM until TODAY. I feel like maybe I've missed the window and the swimmers are dead if I haven't O'd yet.

Since I'm not doing any monitoring at home I'm completely trusting the bloodwork and u/s at the clinic. This sucks.