My Mother - Part 3

This is going to be long. I'm really in a bad mood.
My mother called last night. I was late getting home from work and D met me at the door saying she was on the phone. I thought she was going trying to catch us before the weekend started so she could chat. Apparently not. I get to the phone and my mother seems surprised that I was home so late and asked me "not to get mad at her" but "could she have her $900 by December" because "she has her taxes to pay and now that she has her new car money is tight". Duh.
I'm really pissed off. She told me when she bought us our TV in May that it was a gift. At the time I was thrilled because she hasn't bought me a present in years (not even a Birthday or Christmas Card). D wasn't so thrilled. She was cautious from the beginning saying that there was no gift my mother could give without strings attached. Boy was she right! While I was assembling the TV my mother commented on how nice her new TV was. WTF?
Within a couple of weeks she asked for the money back. Saying she needed to pay her taxes (first of two yearly payments). I told her we didn't have $900 to spare that we were mid cycle and just paid $1400 for sperm. She said "forget about it".
I know I should just give her the money and let it go but this is about way more than a TV.
My mother is so irresponsible and I'm sick of feeling like I know better than her. I should look to HER for advice but instead I'm stuck dealing with her poor choices.
First - She's spent A LOT of money this year. Just before we went on vacation she bought all new appliances and while we were away she bought herself a new laptop and an iPod. She also just bought a new car.
Second - She's giving away stuff - for free! Her old appliances still worked and she gave them away! She also gave away her queen size bed and mattress.
Third - She's working for GAS MONEY - $20 a day. She's helping this Korean family that owns a bunch of real estate in her town run their grocery store so they can "get out of debt" and become Canadian citizens. And when I say "working" I mean WORKING. She's there every day cooking food for their deli counter making them money and all she gets in return is $20. Part of her job is driving around and buying food for them to sell so she actually uses gas on their behalf so she's not making any money. These people are also the recipients of the stove and refrigerator she gave away.
Where do I start? And why should I? Does my mother need me to tell her that she is on a pension and retired? I'm very sick of telling her she's being used by people who are not less fortunate than her but rather sucky business owners. I'm sick of telling her that she should be PAID and that if her food "sells out" like she brags it does she should start her own catering business and sell her product to the store.
I'm livid that she bought that stupid car. Adding a $300 payment to the budget of a pensioner is stupid and I said exactly that when she asked me for the $900 back in October for the purpose of paying her first 3 car payments. I told her she couldn't afford the car if she was already trying to find money to pay for the payments.
I'm also so sick of the fact that she is being so generous with people who are NOT her family. For all of the appliances and the bed she gave away she could have made a few hundred dollars that apparently she needs.
She's always had her parents to bail her out when she's in need. That must be nice, huh? I often feel like the day I moved out was the last day I was her daughter. I called her out once saying that she's had so much help from her parents over the years and that she's never stopped being their daughter to become my mother. Why can't she see that something as little as a Christmas card would make me happy? Why can't she see that while she's being so generous to other people she's completing ignoring me?
I have not had one hand out and I have never asked for one. Years ago in therapy I had a revelation: If I were to treat my mother as my friend and not a parent I could have a relationship with her. If I expected NOTHING I could never be disappointed. I could live with the way she treated me.
So screw the damn TV! The "birthday present" I thought she gave me. The first "helping hand" I thought she'd given me since I left home.
I guess I'll be mailing out post dated cheques on Monday which she said she'd accept. She said she'd just take the money from her inheritance and then pay it back as I give her the money. In other words she's not SOL for tax money - she just doesn't want to dip into her savings.