JDZ

I'm feeling so down. With everything happening to the other people in my life I haven't had a lot of time to really think about how I feel about my own.
I feel like people are looking at us and thinking we've given up on TTC and that's not true.
I need a break because this has been so hard on me. Harder than I ever thought it would be. I shouldn't even go to pregnancy boards because it is absolutely depressing me.. There are times when I just can't believe it's been almost 12 months and I'm not pregnant and other times when I think there is no way I can go on trying right now. I remember in the beginning seeing people who were on their 9th or 10th try and that terrified me. I knew I couldn't do it. I know now that I can but I can't handle doing back to back cycles for months on end. It's breaking me.
It will be a year in September.
It's such a joke. I didn't want to start trying in July last year because I didn't want to be pregnant for my wedding and now I'm hoping I'm pregnant by my second anniversary.