First, We DID recieve our ornament exchange package! It arrived on the eve of Flu-mageddon which unfortunately meant less fanfare on my part than I had hoped but I will be posting pictures shortly. I also have an oodle of "Sadie's Second Birthday" and "Happy New Year" entries to write.. and the Day 3 of our Disney trip report (aka the longest trip report, ever) is sitting as a saved draft.... But first, since this is a mobile entry I wanted to write about Sadie's speech issues.
It has been pretty much a full year since the 09/10 winter baby blogs started buzzing with posts about talking babies, since FB posts bragged about word counts and the adorable things "our" young toddlers were saying. I say "our" because Sadie wasn't included and she's only just getting to where those toddlers were in the winter/spring last year.
We've been jumping through waitlist hoops since last August to get her therapy. She's been assesed twice now. Once for getting a referral to the Speech and Language program and a second to place her within it.
Yesterday was the second assessment and it went really well. Sadie's smart and she scored very well on the tests related to her cognitive abilities and social skills. I was so proud of her as she showed off her skills. It was proof that she's learning and it helped ease some of the guilt I feel over her delay.
We were told she has good "approximation", meaning that the sounds she's making are recognizable. For example, she says "Bee" for Baby, "Oh" for open and "Sey" for Sadie. We were told we need to pay close attention to what she is saying and fill in the gaps (BAY-bee, Oh-PEN, Sey-DEE). She was assessed as having 5 to 10 words (which I think is on the low side of correct) but I'm guessing that meant full words like "Momma", "Ball". Etc. Not her cutoff single syllable sounds like "mo" for "more".
We need to book a hearing test, get her off her chooch (that is going to be fun) and switch her from sippy cups to straw cups (which will help strengthen the muscles needed to talk). Thankfully bottles have been gone for about a month now.
Parenting a child with a speech delay has really had it's ups and downs. In some ways I feel like Sadie has stayed my "baby" longer this way. That is a selfish thing to say but it's true. When I see kids her age talking they seem much older than her and i feel like we've had extended babyhood. That may be one of the reasons we've stuck with the chooch and bottles so long - it's hard to see her as a "big" girl.
Dealing with feelings that we haven't done enough to teach her to talk or feeling judgement over it has been the hard part. I felt better after the first assessment when I was told that Sadie needs different strategies to learn to speak. The thought of teaching Sadie to speak is overwhelming. If you were really faced with this, where would you begin? I would argue that it wouldn't be repeating ABC/123 until they can count to 50 or sing their ABCs. I find people take great pride in word counts/alphabet/numbers etc. but did they really TEACH their child 200 words? For us, ABC is a useless skill when our child is barely able to communicate through words. How does Sadie count to 5? 2, 2, 2, 2, 2.... Forget going past 5 when you can't get her to say "1".
It's frustrating and I guess my point is that people often make us feel like we should try harder by counting steps when we walk down them and stuff like that but the reality is that it's much easier to "teach" a child who has developed appropraite language skills. I'm sure it makes teaching them a very rewarding experience. I'm also certain that maintaining conversations with your child when they answer back is also much easier than the silence we hear.
Sorry, that got a bit ranty.
The good news is that we're in the program now and just waiting to meet with a service coordinator. Sadie has also really started to chatter away like crazy. It makes no sense but it's beautiful to hear her chatty voice. We've been told this is the first step towards really speaking.
I hope so!
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I can't believe you've been waiting since last August to get to this point. I mean, I live here, so I can believe it, but you know... Good for you for starting the process and getting her in as soon as you could.
ReplyDeleteI have a friend whose son didn't say a word, and then when he was around 2.5 he said a complete sentence. I believe that kids focus on learning different things at different times and you've described Sadie as a very physical kid so maybe her focus just isn't on learning to talk yet but more to climb, run, etc. Also, what you said about strengthening her muscles makes total sense.
I also understand what you said about this making her seem like your baby longer. I felt the same way about Ian. Erik was an early and very clear speaker and I think we always treated him like he was older because he sounded and acted older. Ian doesn't speak as clearly and I do appreciate the difference and how he seems more like a baby still. I liked that Erik was so clear because we really got to know what went on inside his head (endless amusement) and I liked that with Ian, he didn't seem to grow up so fast.
As for teaching her ABCs and things... she's learning, even if she can't say it yet. And you're right, people do focus on ABCs and 123s etc. and it's not that important. They will all learn them.
That's great that you're finally getting help and that you've been patient and working hard to get it. You are doing the best for her so don't feel guilty. Every child is different and some have language that comes easily to them and others take a while. Even with our two, they were totally different with Riley speaking early and Jackson taking longer. Also, if she's more the active type, I find they develope motor skills faster than the early verbal types.
ReplyDeleteAs you know, Shane has also been slow to talk and we were looking into speech therapy, too. I swear that in the last couple of weeks his speaking skills have just exploded. Kind of out of nowhere! All kids go at their own pace. I hear you, though, on feeling a bit guilty when you hear how other toddlers are miles ahead of your own. Hell, the two toddlers we hang with that are exactly one week apart in age from Shane talk like crazy and have for a while. I wonder what those moms think when Shane is so far behind.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I always hear that at 3 they are all at around the same stage, regardless of where they were at 2, 2.5, etc. The fact that they speak early or late seems to have no bearing on how they do academically later on in life. I am not worried - I know my kid is smart and will be just fine. As will your sweet Sadie.
I feel a bit of comfort in the fact that she may have gained physical skills over communication. She's smart and VERY social so developmentally, other than speech, we're not concerned at all.
ReplyDeleteI hope she gets that "word explosion" because right now this feels like the bottom of a very steep mountain. Very overwhelming - therapy is about teaching US as much as it is HER and it's not necessarily stuff I like. For example, talking in "baby talk" (but with full words" "Sadie want food?" "Sadie tired?". We've been told to go BACK to lift the flap board books when we've moved on to full storybooks.
Shannon- The insane wait breakdown was: Call in early August, book appt for mid-October (we missed a mid-September opportunity because of Disney), have our appointment cancelled last minute (by them), re-book late November and then we went on a 3-6 month waitlist.
Right now we're hoping to get into a MARCH service block.
It took us four LONG months just to get Little Monster evaluated for a possible speech delay and then that evaluation has led to many other evaluations that we were not counting on. It is very frustrating but I agree with path2parenthood that from what I have heard/read 3 seems to be a fair playing field as far as stages. We were told to use the simple words too and it was harder on us because we are communicative people, but amazingly it did work!
ReplyDeleteIt felt like torture waiting for Curly's speech to get better. We didn't notice a drastic improvement until 2 years and 7 months of age. He still seems behind the curve, but he is talking so much more now and saying sentences and repeating things all the time. I think the rest will come in time, and hopefully no one will be able to tell any differently by 3 and a half. Hang in there...glad she's getting assistance.
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