La La La La

(The ugly part of Christmas)

Where to begin?

On the 20th of December I still hadn't heard from my Dad and then that night my step-mom responded to a FB status asking if we were coming on Boxing Day.

By the time I saw her response Sadie had started throwing up and things were not looking good. I responded via PM that we had plans on boxing day and would need to come earlier. I asked what day was best as well as gave her the heads up that Sadie was sick.

She didn't respond (despite being on FB). She didn't respond to anything I had posted that week about us being sick. Silence.

On December 24th I gave in and called.

At this point I need to give a little background info. My Dad hosts a Christmas Eve Open House. He has every year as long as I can remember. As an adult, I have attended every single year that he has lived near us. My Aunt and my three cousins from my mom's side of the family always attend too because my dad is best friends with my Uncle.

So, on December 24th I call and ask what the plans are for that night and my dad's response was that his doors would be open all night. He then asked if we were coming in to "do the rounds". This may sound pretty innocent reading it but there are no such "rounds". We spend Christmas Eve with them and he was making our visit out to be a casual drop-in with a "we'll be here all night if you want to stop by" attitude. Christmas Eve has never been like that. EVER.

I was really pissed off when I ended that call and immediatly called my cousin and suggested that we get together at her mom's house. She agreed and we set it up that instead of going to my dad's open house we'd do Christmas eve there. Since this included my mom it seemed like a good deal.

Back to my Dad. I called back and asked to speak with my Step-Mom and repeated my FB message that we had plans on Boxing day and flat out asked when she wanted to do Christmas because we were available that day or the next (I was still pissed off at this point). Her response was "Whenever you want to come in, hun". I asked what worked best for them Christmas or Christmas Eve? Her response "whatever you want". OK. Soooo now I follow up with "This afternoon OK then?" and she literally starts talking OVER me and says "you just let us know, ok?" um, yeah... That's what I was TRYING to do.

I don't know if by writing this it is coming out right but neither my Step-Mother or my Father would invite us over officially. It was like a gaping hole of "if you have time you can stop by, we'll be here" but in the same way as when you say to someone you barely know "If you're ever in Canada, stop by". I was trying to make PLANS and their disinterest was really getting in my way.

We did end up going to their place that afternoon. It seemed to work out perfectly that we were in and out before their friends started arriving. As we were leaning and someone was arriving we overhead them say "who was that?" to my dad. I'm getting a feeling that my dad isn't out and proud about us.

We went to my Aunt's house and had fun. My dad seemed a bit taken by surprise when we said they wouldn't be going to his Open House because it meant 8 less people for his party. At no point did he ask us to stay, come back or even mention Sadie's birthday.

This has all been so frustrating and upsetting. I had hoped that with my dads initial excitement over Sadie that they would be really great grandparents. With all of the spoiling of my brother I also thought they would spoil her rotten. Soooo not the case at all. They are so distant and aloof.

At the risk of sounding petty I need to comment on Sadie's gifts from them. This falls into the category of wishing they'd try a little harder. When asked (over FB) what Sadie had wanted I had said she really loved Trains (Thomas and Chuggington), Cars and Toy Story. I get that this may be hard for some (narrow minded) people to get but I didn't expect that 80% of Sadie's gifts would be BARBIE. Not to mention Barbie clothes that ranged in size from 4 to 6. Size 6, really? It was painfully obvious that all of that stuff was free or discounted from my Step-moms work. Truthfully I'm having a difficult time saying "it's the thought that counts" when it is their granddaughter. It also doesnt help knowing their 12 yo son got $400 headphones from Santa and said they weren't good enough and exchanged them for $600 ones the next day.

Really?



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