Thank you for your kind words and advice. Yesterday was awful – end of the world awful – but today is so much better.
I assume this all started on Tuesday with my less than thrilling OB appointment however the stress of it all didn’t peak until Wednesday night. D said that I was snoring and whimpering at the same time, crying in my sleep. She didn’t want to wake me. In the middle of the night I woke up sick to my stomach and in pain. Everything hurt: my hips, my back, my knees and wrists. I all of a sudden had a dreaded fear of “WTH have I gotten myself into?” Apparently I’m going crazy? D says it’s the baby causing my hormones to go whacky but I know that my past issues with anxiety play a role too. I’m on meds. I’ve been on them since TTC and they have kept me level. Until this week, I guess. Before that my typical pregnancy anxiety has been about the stupidest things ever – e.g. hitting a big bump in the road and wondering if that was the equivalent of a car accident. Or, you know, worrying that Sadie had grown a Penis (I still worry about that one).
I’m going to e-mail my Doula. She has made herself available for the entire pregnancy but I’ve only reached out to her once. I think it is now time that I start to use her as a resource so I can get myself through harder times. I’m also wondering if I’d benefit from some sort of meditation. Maybe she’ll know of a program I can join.
I need to relax. I need to stop reading Baby Center because those women are crazy and it leaks into my head as well. I need to remember that H1N1 is not SARS all over again. I need to make it through the next few months without going bonkers.
One day at a time…
glad to hear you are feeling a little better today. giving your doula a call sounds like a great idea. hope the weekend is relaxing. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are feeling better. Anxiety can get the best of us at any time. It's your maternal instincts gearing up for motherhood. BBC is the devil. I post on there but seriously some of the women on the birth board (not the glbt boards) are so freaken dumb. I've never read so many dumb questions, comments, rants, and arguments in my entire life. I know this sounds snobbish but I joke and say going on those birth boards daily only affirms that I'm actually smarter than someone. I mostly lurk on the birth boards and stick to the glbt boards, special interest like breastfeeding and knitting groups and blogs. Anyway, hang in there. Glad to hear you are utilizing your supports.
ReplyDeleteReading (some) blogs, message boards and Dr.Google is horrible for my anxiety level. I'm glad that you're feeling better, and I hope your doula had some other ways to help.
ReplyDeletehang in there! definitely stay off bbc!! lean on your doula, that is what she is there for :). Lean on folks here too!
ReplyDeleteThank you again... We've accomplished so much that I haven't had time to be crazy.
ReplyDeleteAs for BBC... I'm trying to avoid it!! Yet it's also addictive.