1) I am angry with my Aunt for asking if it would be OK not to attend the baby shower for the following reasons:
- Family makes sacrifices for family and with 3 weeks notice I would have accepted her regrets had she made the effort to switch her shift first.
- In the past 2 years we have attended my cousins Stag & Doe, Wedding/Reception and Baby Shower. This is OUR turn to celebrate an accomplishment and we would expect that our presence and generosity during their special times would be reciprocated during ours.
- Using the 2 hour time frame of the shower is a BS excuse to say it is not worth her time. We're talking a 60 minute difference from her daughters shower. That's a petty argument.
2) I am angry with YOU (my mother) for not saying something to my Aunt or standing up for us.
3) A family get together at a later date is not equal to having my family attend my baby shower.
4) No, this is not about presents even if given at a later date. It is about having the support of my family and expecting the same treatment as others have received.
5) The damage has been done and cannot be fixed by telling my Aunt I want her to attend.
My mom said she'd wished that I'd said something the other night. I think I needed a few days to relax because at the time I was really angry. She's not going to say anything to her younger sister but will open the communication to my other Aunt to see if she will still go with her daughter (my 4th cousin). She said she was going to comment on how she is annoyed with her younger sister for not attending but I told her not to. There was an issue with "talking behind backs" leading up to my cousins shower and I do not want that at all. Ironically that time it was about my older Aunt not attending my cousins shower and boy was my younger Aunt pissed. Oh how the tables have turned now...
The conclusion.... My family baby shower is going to be awesome because of the family that WILL be there. I'm not going to waste any more time about the people who will not attend. It's hard not to take it personally but this really isn't worth any more of my time!!!
You're right... it's about the people who WILL be there. I'm sure that it is going to be amazing!
ReplyDeleteYou're going to have a wonderful shower. I'm sorry your family is making it so stressful. Also, know that you are not alone. My MiL is technically throwing our shower (Nov. 7) but she planned a 10-day trip in mid-Oct. So we had to buy, fill out, and mail our own shower invitations and start the hunt for decorations, etc. Argh! Family really knows how to push your buttons.
ReplyDeleteI went through a lot of (possibly) similar family shit during my wedding. It was really hard and sucked at the time, but I tried to focus on all the love and support that I DID receive. Good job not wasting any more time being angry and instead focusing on the people who love and support you.
ReplyDeletewow - that is a tough one. What is wrong with people, I want to know?
ReplyDeleteI really hope that you can focus on having a good time at the shower and ignoring all the shit that went on behind the scenes.
And if you get a chance, I would tell those family members to their face! But that's just me on BCPs with NO impulse control!
take care:)
You deserve a fabulous party! a fabulous LONG party!