Ready/Not Ready

Starting to freak out a bit here!!!

I had my 36 week appointment today and I was sent home with my hospital registration paperwork and a pamphlet about the "signs of labor"and when to come in. Um... not ready!! Baby Girl needs to stay in until her EDD so screw the forms and the pamphlet. Thinking January.... thinking January!!

We're pretty much ready. We accomplished what we needed to on the weekend and I feel we now have all of the material items we need. Included are the items for my hospital bag (new slippers, lounge wear, PJ's, etc). We also have the car seat but read today that our hospital doesn't require you to have one to leave. That's a moot point since we'll need one but I had previously worried we'd be held hostage without it! Next up will be to shovel out the condo, assemble the glider, the crib and then we'll be ready.

Now, the avoided topic... our "friends" baby shower. This is probably the reason I've been avoiding blogging for the past week. No, it wasn't bad. It was actually fun and our friends were very generous. I couldn't believe the items that flew off of our registry. Stuff like our Angel Care monitor, Baby Bjorn carrier, bath tub, diapers, toys, etc. etc. We were spoiled. Here are some pictures: (btw, I didn't end up doing our big cake so I made cup cakes)

What has kept me silent is that we were both very disappointed in all of the last minute cancellations and then on the day of the shower two of our friends that we expected were no-shows. That left 7 of 20 guests. Some of the regrets/excuses were completely expected while others caught us off guard. It's been a week now and it's interesting to see the guilt coming out of people. In person I've put up a brave face and I've let it go (D says I'm too nice) but inside it hurts. The reality is that we're moving in a different direction than our friends. They're in their 30's stuck in a rut of going to "retro night" and having a drinking parties. We're in our 30's and we're starting a family. I think we've gotten to the point where we no longer connect. ):

35 weeks!!!

I promised myself I would post today in honour of my 35 week milestone. I know we're still two weeks away from full term but this feels amazing.... 35 weeks!! Finally!!
Things are starting to feel very real and I'm starting to feel like we need to kick it into high gear to get ready. The condo (which was once tidy) has turned into a maze of boxes, Christmas decorations and baby stuff. We need to sort that out ASAP because it is out of control. Ironically I feel like our spare room has been transformed from our storage room to a baby's room and now to a baby's storage room. Will there be room for Sadie?
We're also going to go and buy our car seat and have it installed this weekend as I hear you can't leave the hospital without one. That concerns me more than the fact that our crib is still at a warehouse! I think it's time to pack my hospital bag and Sadie's diaper bag as well. We need to get prepared although I have no reason to believe Sadie will be early. We're both very comfortable where we are and I strongly believe she'll be a January baby so much so that my last day of work is December 18th. I'm sort of banking on her being there past 38 weeks, 2 days!! At that point I'm taking vacation December 21-24, December 29th and then my first official mat leave day is December 30th aka My EDD. I'm trying to work around the holidays (Christmas & Boxing Day) so that I get my Stat pay BEFORE I leave. Why give up two days of full pay for no work, right?
I need to get back on here to post about our baby shower. I have pictures! Right now I'm feeling very lazy when it comes to blogging. I'm not sure what my problem is. I'm still reading and commenting but writing is so hard right now. My average posts per month is way down for November. Time is flying by so fast!

Jinxed

I must have jinxed myself yesterday saying there was so little baby shower drama this time around. All of a sudden I understand how the women on BBC who write of no one attending their showers got to the point where they weren't sure if any guests were going to attend. Since we're involved in the planning and are buying the food I wanted to get a final count. I sent out an e-mail under the premis of providing "additional information" about parking and the location. At the end of the e-mail I asked if anyone hadn't sent their regrets to please let me know if they were unable to attend.

That opened a floodgate of excuses.... holy crap. Maybe I shouldn't have asked?

We had invited 20 people and at this point it seems that only 9 will attend. Quite frankly I'm starting to feel ill with the humiliation of it all. ) : I'm also upset because we've already spent money on awesome decorations and with all the stuff we need to buy we don't have free flowing cash!

The shower isn't a complete write-off. I'm hoping that the 9 people we expect to attend will actually come. It's also nice to know who your friends really are!

12 Random Thoughts

EDD = 5.5 weeks

Last day of work = 4.5 weeks

Work = Manager said he's noticed I've fallen stupid & asked if I'd like to start my leave early

Starting Leave Early = Not unless my water breaks!

Belly = Bigger by the day and FULL of baby (measuring 35 weeks)

Baby = Trying to escape through my belly button

Belly Button = Hasn't popped yet... I'm so sad because I want it to

Heartburn = EVIL EVIL EVIL

Craving = White Cream Soda Slurpee from 7 Eleven (Buying a Big Gulp on the way home)

D = Going to dinner with Mom tonight while I happily drink my Big Gulp at home

Friend Baby Shower = This weekend... so little drama

Baby Shower Host = What should we buy as a gift?

Two Mother Family

This may not be as easy as we had thought. Small things have started to creep up through our baby showers and this wasn’t covered in our Dykes Planning Tykes course or our Queer Positive Prenatal class!! Everything so far has focused on getting pregnant and then being pregnant. What’s next? What can we expect? Maybe I’m just naïve and thought that everyone would just know how to treat us!!
We’ve already encountered the following:

• D has so far been left out of her work’s quarterly baby celebration (for parents to be) even though a co-worker who is as pregnant as I am has already been recognised. Talk about awkward. We’re hoping that her name will be mentioned at the next celebration otherwise we may be dealing with an HR issue. Everyone at her work knows I’m pregnant so it isn’t a secret.
• When we designed our baby shower invites we included the wording “Come celebrate baby (our last name) and her Momma and Mommy”. Naturally people were curious as to who was Momma and who was who was Mommy. When one of my friends asked I told her I was “Momma”. She then asked why I would let D be “Mommy”. I was quite shocked by this question. Is there a hierarchy in naming rights for a mother?
• Our baby Shower invites for my family shower only included my name and when my step-mother gave her little speech at the beginning she said it was to celebrate ME. This leads me to ask who the baby shower is for. For a heterosexual couple the shower is traditionally for women only and her partner is not there. The mother to be is celebrated (regardless of how the baby comes into the family). Therefore, in a family with two mothers, who is celebrated? Shouldn’t it be both mothers?

The lesson learned is that we’re going to need to step up and defend our family as required. No, I didn’t make a fuss at the family shower. It didn’t seem appropriate because my family was only acting the way they knew how to which was to celebrate the mother to be (who is carrying) and they really have come such a long way already. We’ll have to take it one step at a time to make sure people recognize us both equally. I’ve already told D that I’m going to step back from the next shower and let her take the lead role. It’s definitely her turn.

Family Baby Shower

What an exhausting yet fun day! Who knew socializing and opening presents could be such hard work?

The Guests:

Since this was our "family" shower I had left the invites up to my step-mother and aunt. I had NO idea who was going to be there. It ended up being a pretty good turn out. There were some family friends that I've known since I was a kid, family I didn't recognize, my grandmothers neighbor (that was weird) and oddly enough, my second grade teacher! My mother's younger sister was also there with 2 of her 3 daughters (more on that later) as were all of my aunts and cousins from my dad's side. Only a couple of people couldn't make it due to illness.

The Cake:

The cake ended up being one of the highlights of my day. I don't think I've ever said anything to my stepmother about Cake Wrecks but I get a good kick out of that blog. So much so that I want to recreate one of their cakes for our "friend" shower. No, I did not get a creepy fondant baby cake like my cousin, what I got was the following:

My step-mother's inspiration would have been the following picture. You may recognize the uncensored version from on here however when I posted on Facebook I blocked out Sadie's name since we are not telling friends. One of my least creative moments captured as a memory forever!

The Presents:

The present opening took up most of the afternoon because I was very slow. I prefer to be the gift giver than the receiver. The spot light was on and I felt the pressure!

As you know I had been stalking my registry. I was surprised to find out that the first three items were purchased all by my Aunt (mom's sister). Her present was insane and over the top and included 32 pieces of clothing (undershirts, onesies, pants and night gowns). I feel prepared now!

We didn't get a lot of big ticket items although we did receive our stroller! I went back to my list of essentials and I'm far from worried. We've already purchased most of what we need and the only expensive item left is the car seat. We're likely going to go with Plan B and buy the convertible version rather than an infant carrier. We'll also see what happens after our friend's shower! Regardless, we were spoiled:

The Missing Guest:

As I had mentioned above, my Aunt came with 2 of her 3 daughters and that is because my cousin had her baby the day before on November 7th (EDD November 21st). She had a boy! I had originally told my entire family our name because I was worried that she was due first and didn't know what she was having. Needless to say we would have had no worries because we would never have come up with the name they chose!! His middle name, however, brought me to tears. My cousin gave him our maternal grandfathers name the same as we are doing for Sadie by using our grandmothers. That means that the first 2 great grandchildren, a boy and a girl, will honor our grandparents. The fact that we have both done this is a testament to how important they were in all of our lives. I miss them both so much!!!!!!

Rant.

First, we had our baby shower this weekend and it was wonderful. I’m going to write up a post about that (with pictures) tomorrow.
Today, I’ve decided to write a brief rant about my MIL and how she almost ruined it.
In summary, without getting too wound up, my MIL prioritized a televised football game ahead of our baby shower.
Apparently she had “promised” our 4 year old nephew she’d watch the football game with him and “forgot” about our baby shower being at the same time. Her plan was to stop by and leave before the game started which is exactly what she did. She stayed for 45 minutes and then called a cab. She didn’t eat or even see us open presents and as she left she apologised to me by saying “you know how it is when you promise someone something”. Hmmm… Like when you RSVP to your daughter’s baby shower when you receive an invitation 3 weeks in advance?
When we got home we had a sarcastic FACEBOOK message from her mom waiting for us. Something about it being ironic that we’re naming our child after a woman (D’s grandmother) who put her grandchildren above everyone else and yet we’re begrudging her for doing exactly the same.
Clearly she has very poor judgement. D was left without any family at the shower. We expect this kind of shit from my mother, not hers.
How disappointing.