We were given the green light to start Puregon yesterday so we are officially on try #9. My follicle count was a bit different than normal (11 right, 6 left). I'm used to a pretty standard (10,10) but know it could have been a miscount. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I should have asked.
Our first injection was done in the First Aid office at a New Kids on the Block concert! I had worried about it all day but it turned out great. We saw the first aid station and asked if we could use their office. They had no problem at all. The shot is soooo easy. Even easier than the Ovidrel shot which apparently has a slightly larger needle. D said she could tell I couldn't feel it when I wiped the injections site and wiped the wrong spot. I had no idea where the needle went in after I pulled it out!
I'm back to the clinic on Wednesday, Day 6. They said my cycle would be a bit shorter this time. I'm hoping that we are able to have a weekday insemination so I can try the guided ultrasound. Things are looking good but we're up against Good Friday as well. I hope my doctor isn't going to be on vacation again! I have my fingers crossed!!
JDZ: Two Moms, One Toddler
Monday, March 30, 2009
Friday, March 27, 2009
Day 1, try #9
Today is Day 1 and that is both good and bad timing.
Good because I didn't want to go in for Day 3 on Monday morning. Bad because our insurance doesn't kick in until April 1st. CD3 will be Sunday March 29th. We knew that was going to happen but we got pretty close!
I'm feeling better now as I always do going into a new cycle but I do wish we could agree on IVF. I'm so sick of going through this.
Good because I didn't want to go in for Day 3 on Monday morning. Bad because our insurance doesn't kick in until April 1st. CD3 will be Sunday March 29th. We knew that was going to happen but we got pretty close!
I'm feeling better now as I always do going into a new cycle but I do wish we could agree on IVF. I'm so sick of going through this.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Grumpy
I am in a very grumpy mood today - must be PMS. I'm also at home again even though I had planned on going in to work! Today has been awful. I woke up and felt yucky so I opted to not go in again. I feel like there is so much dishonesty for me in this process. I have so many appointments and I do not feel comfortable telling my new manager so I'm left with overwhelming guilt. The fact that I am legitimately not feeling well right now is the only saving grace I have over the last two days.
Anyway... I went in for my Beta and I'm waiting for the results. I also went in for my Puregon lesson and it looks like that will be really easy to handle. I was able to give myself a test shot with saline. I couldn't feel it at all.
For now I'm relaxing and watching possibly the worst horror movie ever - One Missed Call. We'll see how long it holds my attention. I think I'd rather be taking a nap!
ETA - My Beta results were negative. Not surprised!
Anyway... I went in for my Beta and I'm waiting for the results. I also went in for my Puregon lesson and it looks like that will be really easy to handle. I was able to give myself a test shot with saline. I couldn't feel it at all.
For now I'm relaxing and watching possibly the worst horror movie ever - One Missed Call. We'll see how long it holds my attention. I think I'd rather be taking a nap!
ETA - My Beta results were negative. Not surprised!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
14 DPO - BFN
Dr. P seemed a bit surprised to see me at an appointment discussing future options when this cycle is not yet over. I'm not sure how else we'd do it? There is little to no time between a negative Beta and day 1. Next thing I know I'll be in the middle of a next cycle and I'm sick of fucking around with this (pardon my language).
Anyway, I promised I'd go in tomorrow for my beta. I'll also be going in for my training session for Puregon. Originally we had planned to do a month of Letrozole because my insurance does not kick in until April 1st which means I'll be missing coverage by just a few days. When we found out the first purchase would only be $335 we decided to pay for it out of pocket. I pretty much told Dr. P that I'm ready to try anything and everything and that I'm sick of being patient. I also believe that my past lollygagging (which I believe to be the most accurate word for it) was because I've found it easier to not get pregnant because I haven't tried over having failed. I've already felt that urge to "skip next month" but I need to keep going. I'm never going to get pregnant if I allow myself to follow this pattern of trying every 2-3 months just because I find it comforting.
On a side note.. I watched the documentary "Biodad" as recommended by Queerstork. They have a scene in it where an IVF retrieval is being performed on a patient who is knocked out completely. I panicked at this. I didn't think IVF would require anesthesia. Well apparently it doesn't. Normally you are given something to calm you down (like Valium) and a pain killer. Dr. P had seen the documentary and said she was surprised when she saw that! I was happy to hear that because all of a sudden IVF sounded very intimidating.
Anyway, I promised I'd go in tomorrow for my beta. I'll also be going in for my training session for Puregon. Originally we had planned to do a month of Letrozole because my insurance does not kick in until April 1st which means I'll be missing coverage by just a few days. When we found out the first purchase would only be $335 we decided to pay for it out of pocket. I pretty much told Dr. P that I'm ready to try anything and everything and that I'm sick of being patient. I also believe that my past lollygagging (which I believe to be the most accurate word for it) was because I've found it easier to not get pregnant because I haven't tried over having failed. I've already felt that urge to "skip next month" but I need to keep going. I'm never going to get pregnant if I allow myself to follow this pattern of trying every 2-3 months just because I find it comforting.
On a side note.. I watched the documentary "Biodad" as recommended by Queerstork. They have a scene in it where an IVF retrieval is being performed on a patient who is knocked out completely. I panicked at this. I didn't think IVF would require anesthesia. Well apparently it doesn't. Normally you are given something to calm you down (like Valium) and a pain killer. Dr. P had seen the documentary and said she was surprised when she saw that! I was happy to hear that because all of a sudden IVF sounded very intimidating.
Monday, March 23, 2009
13 DPO - BFN
I've already called this cycle a BFN. I consider myself to be on try #9.
I'd love to say I'm handling this well but I'm not. I feel like my heart has been smashed into a thousand pieces and I'm dying. How can I make this pain go away?
The good news in this hellish mess is that I was able to get an appointment with Dr. P tomorrow morning. I feel like I can't call in a Day 1 without a new protocol. I just can't do it. Plus, D and I have finally reached an agreement on selective reduction and therefore are willing to jump into an injectable cycle. Since 2 follicles on 2 different attempts have not led to pregnancy I am much less afraid of potential multiples from more powerful meds. I'm not going to be an octo-mom. We know where to draw the line if/when it comes to that (as horrible as that sounds). I just want to get pregnant!!!
-- Post From My iPod Touch
I'd love to say I'm handling this well but I'm not. I feel like my heart has been smashed into a thousand pieces and I'm dying. How can I make this pain go away?
The good news in this hellish mess is that I was able to get an appointment with Dr. P tomorrow morning. I feel like I can't call in a Day 1 without a new protocol. I just can't do it. Plus, D and I have finally reached an agreement on selective reduction and therefore are willing to jump into an injectable cycle. Since 2 follicles on 2 different attempts have not led to pregnancy I am much less afraid of potential multiples from more powerful meds. I'm not going to be an octo-mom. We know where to draw the line if/when it comes to that (as horrible as that sounds). I just want to get pregnant!!!
-- Post From My iPod Touch
Sunday, March 22, 2009
12 DPO
I'm up early waiting to take my progesterone and then I'll be heading back to bed.
I just used the washroom and I did not POAS. I immediately regretted wasting all that FMU but it's gone now. What can you do? I also bravely left the drugstore without more FRER last night. It's like winning $20. I'm imagining that stupid woman on the news who is picking $20 bills out of her dogs shit because he ate all of her money. At least she gets the money back!!
Anyway...
Since I was up early yesterday (progesterone again) we decided to head down to the market. We hadnt' been since October since it's been so cold but we do go most weekend in the warmer weather. I love the market. I love the Montreal style bagels and all of the vegetables we buy. It's just so much more fun than shopping at a grocery store. It's also great when the produce is in season and you can buy fresh Ontario grown! While there we got our typical Italian Sandwich (chicken, tomato sauce, red pepper on huge bun) to split and some Apple Fritters. This was all by 10:00 am! You can also get real breakfast at most of the little shops but who wants to do that?
After the market, we took a detour home to go to Best Buy to buy the Twilight DVD. Yes, I'm a loser. They had it on sale for $19.99 for the deluxe Bluray edition. It is so nice to FINALLY see Bluray at a decent price!!!
I spent the afternoon sleeping and then D and I went to see I love you man. Good movie. I love Jason Segel.
I'm not sure what we're going to do today. I'd like to go and get an orchestra seat for Spring Awakening. The Friday night show was good but since sitting on stage is rear/side view and I hadn't seen the cast before I did find myself longing to see it from the audience. The lighting for this show is just phenomenal. You don't' get the full effect of that. The seat I sat in was also pretty far upstage (further to the back of the stage). It's a great seat for many reasons such as having only cast members sitting beside you and A LOT of action takes place directly in front of you however it's far back so you do get a lot of rear views. I'm hoping that when D and I go in a couple of weeks our Downstage seat (which is pretty much as close to the front of the stage as you can get) will offer a better perspective of the show.
I just used the washroom and I did not POAS. I immediately regretted wasting all that FMU but it's gone now. What can you do? I also bravely left the drugstore without more FRER last night. It's like winning $20. I'm imagining that stupid woman on the news who is picking $20 bills out of her dogs shit because he ate all of her money. At least she gets the money back!!
Anyway...
Since I was up early yesterday (progesterone again) we decided to head down to the market. We hadnt' been since October since it's been so cold but we do go most weekend in the warmer weather. I love the market. I love the Montreal style bagels and all of the vegetables we buy. It's just so much more fun than shopping at a grocery store. It's also great when the produce is in season and you can buy fresh Ontario grown! While there we got our typical Italian Sandwich (chicken, tomato sauce, red pepper on huge bun) to split and some Apple Fritters. This was all by 10:00 am! You can also get real breakfast at most of the little shops but who wants to do that?
After the market, we took a detour home to go to Best Buy to buy the Twilight DVD. Yes, I'm a loser. They had it on sale for $19.99 for the deluxe Bluray edition. It is so nice to FINALLY see Bluray at a decent price!!!
I spent the afternoon sleeping and then D and I went to see I love you man. Good movie. I love Jason Segel.
I'm not sure what we're going to do today. I'd like to go and get an orchestra seat for Spring Awakening. The Friday night show was good but since sitting on stage is rear/side view and I hadn't seen the cast before I did find myself longing to see it from the audience. The lighting for this show is just phenomenal. You don't' get the full effect of that. The seat I sat in was also pretty far upstage (further to the back of the stage). It's a great seat for many reasons such as having only cast members sitting beside you and A LOT of action takes place directly in front of you however it's far back so you do get a lot of rear views. I'm hoping that when D and I go in a couple of weeks our Downstage seat (which is pretty much as close to the front of the stage as you can get) will offer a better perspective of the show.
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