Don't call me crazy, thankyouverymuch

OSHA REGULATORY STATUS
This material is considered hazardous under the OSHA Hazard Communications Standard (29 CFR 910.1200).

POTENTIAL HEALTH EFFECTS:

a. Silicosis Respirable crystalline silica (quartz) can cause silicosis, a fibrosis (scarring) of the lungs. Silicosis may be progressive; it may lead to disability and death.
b. Lung Cancer Crystalline silica (quartz) inhaled from occupational sources is classified as carcinogenic to humans.
c. Tuberculosis Silicosis increases the risk of tuberculosis.
d. Autoimmune and Chronic Kidney Diseases Some studies show excess numbers of cases of scleroderma, connective tissue disorders, lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, chronic kidney diseases and end-stage kidney disease in workers exposed to respirable crystalline silica.

Would you guess that the above text comes from a product labelled as "Play Sand" and/or "Natural Lake Sand"? If you knew this warning BEFORE purchasing the sand, would you buy it? I didn't seek out this info, I found it when I was trying to find sand to fill our new sandbox and apparently in the state of California there is a law to lable carcinogenic products and SAND is one of those products. Of course, this makes me the "paranoid freak parent who is going to deny her daugher a childhood" but I can't take back this knowledge.
The only sand that I've been able to find that seems to be OK is Crayola sand which even in California does not carry the typical warning. It appears that it's been processed in a way that reduces the dust (which is the dangerous part of the sand) significantly, and is asbestos free (yeah, that's in Sand too). It has been lab tested at Duke University to qualify for its safety rating.
So, Pink sand, no sand or Rice. I haven't decided yet.

ETA: This relates to a backyard sandbox. No, I'm not going to keep Sadie away from playgrounds and beaches.

No excuse

Wow, I've become a really bad blogger. I have so much to write about (Easter, Binghamton trip, etc.) but I'm just too tired and/or lazy to get around to it.
Sadie's illness quite fortunately ended shortly after my embarassing rant and before we had to go back to the hospital. We think it was likely Roseola but only based on our own Internet research resulting from a comment Shannon left on this blog. No thanks to our ped who saw the rash the first time I did and simply commented ir was "part of the virus". I'm annoyed but I won't get into it because it's over and done.
Through the sickness I ended up spending the week home with Sadie. It was so nice and the longest time we've spent together since January.
After the week iff It was hard going back to work last Monday and then the week itself was a awful with TWO co-workers passing away suddenly. It really puts life into perspective when stuff like that happens. Unfortunately as a constant worrier these are things that I do not need to be reminded of because they send me into a panic. No day but today.
Good stuff has happened too. We got an awesome tax refund (did I file it wrong?) and we've made final plans for our summer and fall vacations. I booked a hotel in Manhattan for a couple of nights to go along with our trip to Sesame Place and Long Island for July 4th. We've also just upgraded our Disney vaction to include dining. That one is a bit out of control. Our $62/night hotel
deal has snowballed into a 2 week, $4000 vacation. I don't even want to get into how that happened but a lot has to do with FLYING. Another post is coming on that one! Yikes! Also one on my backyard obsession and another on Sadie's development lately. For now though, I'm all blogged out. (;

ETA: I think I've fixed my blogger cookie problem!











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BITTER

I've tried going back in my archives to reference the initial incident but I didn't use tags and I can't find it. I can remember it though, as if it was said to me yesterday.
It was Feb or March 2008 and we were on our 5th try when we were at a friends party. We were talking to a couple that were "super excited" to be starting TTC. We were talking about OUR experience when I was asked "OMG, What's wrong with you?".

I have hated that person since that day back in 2008. I hated her when she gave birth to her LO in Spring 2009 and I extra double hated her when we found out in September that they had, for non-medical reasons, done IVF with her partners eggs and had concieved again. She may have JUST POAS the day she told us. BITCH.

My friend (not her or her partner, we're not friends) just posted the birth announcement for their daughter that as born last week. I'm just filled with bitterness. I had done the math recently and wondered if it handn't really been but I guess it had. Lucky bitches.

And you know what I thought today? I thought, my beautiful baby girl, the one I love more than anything has something wrong with her. She's sick, seemingly with nothing, that is causing bad things.. and these stupid idiots are celebrating their second baby. I haaaaatttttteeee them. They represent everything I've hated about TTC and it's unfairness.

That's all for my bitter rant today. I'm taking Sadie back to the Dr shortly because something is not right. She slept 14 hours last night and is on a 3 hour nap right now. Only 2 hours inbetween. Not. Normal.

*tears*

Update

Thank you for all of your hugs and well wishes (on FB and here). Sadie is doing better. We're drugging her to the point of loopiness, but no further seizures. Her fever, off meds, continues to be in the 102-103 range. I've take vacation to get me until Monday so I can be home with her to monitor her every move. That's it and it's all we can do in the future: control the fever.
We ended up not going to our pediatrician for the follow-up. At firs it was because we couldn't get in contact with him but then it was because I thought I'd found a better option. To be completley honest, I'm a bit worn thin by doctors right now. I always used to trust blindly but I've certainly asked more questions and doubted more since the issues we had with our fertility clinic. Some doctors are good and othera don't seem to give a shit. The ER doctor we saw on Monday night didn't seem interested in us. I had better feedback from our nurse and paramedic. Scary stuff. So when I finally got through to our ped I started to worry that he'd be flippant about it too. I wanted a second opinion and I could hear him saying it was just something viral. We decided to go to a kids clinic in a hospital (non-emerg) where tests could be done onsite. The Dr. we saw ended up being our ped's medical school teacher and an ER doc from the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto. Win-win if you ask me. After an extensive interview and exam he gave us our new medication schedule, explained Febrile Seizures to us and said Sadie was "perfect". That made us feel better. (;
We have a follow-up next week and will only need to go back to the hospital if Sadie still has a fever on Friday morning! FX crossed that we'll be over this by then, otherwise, we're packing our bags and back to the ER!!


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Trust your instincts

In the middle of the night Sadie woke up with a fever. Surprisingly, her first, considering she's had chicken pox, strep throat and a sinus infection. I have always been very lax when it comes to fevers. I can honestly say that I had gone about 9 month without taking her temp and I'd only recently bought a good Braun thermometer.
I could tell she was HOT immediately. Her temp read 102 so I gave her tylenol and we went back to bed. At 5:30 am we woke up with the fever, slightly lower, still there. I gave her more tylenol and then called telehealth (nurse hotline). They assured me she was fine and that i didn't even need to give her meds. So I didn't after the 5:30 am dose.

... and then she had a seizure.

It happened just after she ate lunch. We were snuggling on the couch and she started making a funny noise like she was trying to breathe through her stuffed nose instead of her mouth. I tried to sit her up and my mom started freaking out that she wasn't ok. Her eyes were rolling back in her head and then when I picked her up she went crosseyed and limp. I called 911 and it took (with them here) at least 20-30 min for her to act normal again.
We went to the hospital - 5.5 hours later, we're home again. They said she is fighting something viral and to call 911 everytime she has a seizure (which she'll be more prone to). We're also on our way to her pediatrician tomorrow.
Scariest moment of my LIFE. The crazy thing was that I was going to go to work. I drove D to the train station and then turned around and went home. Something felt "off". Thank god I did. I don't even want to sleep tonight i'm so nervous. I don't like that we don't know what caused the fever. ): My poor sweet boo. I love her more than anything and would die if something happened to her.



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Foto Friday

Another "Then and Now"

I met up with a friend and her 4 month old this week and I was shocked that I couldn't remember Sadie at 4 months! So here is a "now and then" as a reminder!

April 2010


April 2011



I'm glad she has hair now!

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