I've tried going back in my archives to reference the initial incident but I didn't use tags and I can't find it. I can remember it though, as if it was said to me yesterday.
It was Feb or March 2008 and we were on our 5th try when we were at a friends party. We were talking to a couple that were "super excited" to be starting TTC. We were talking about OUR experience when I was asked "OMG, What's wrong with you?".
I have hated that person since that day back in 2008. I hated her when she gave birth to her LO in Spring 2009 and I extra double hated her when we found out in September that they had, for non-medical reasons, done IVF with her partners eggs and had concieved again. She may have JUST POAS the day she told us. BITCH.
My friend (not her or her partner, we're not friends) just posted the birth announcement for their daughter that as born last week. I'm just filled with bitterness. I had done the math recently and wondered if it handn't really been but I guess it had. Lucky bitches.
And you know what I thought today? I thought, my beautiful baby girl, the one I love more than anything has something wrong with her. She's sick, seemingly with nothing, that is causing bad things.. and these stupid idiots are celebrating their second baby. I haaaaatttttteeee them. They represent everything I've hated about TTC and it's unfairness.
That's all for my bitter rant today. I'm taking Sadie back to the Dr shortly because something is not right. She slept 14 hours last night and is on a 3 hour nap right now. Only 2 hours inbetween. Not. Normal.
*tears*
That kind of stuff is hard to take.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're taking Sadie back to the doctor. It's scary when they're so sick especially with fevers that don't develop into anything so you feel like you're just waiting for something to happen. I'm sure she'll be fine and is probably just fighting something off. Fevers sometimes hang on for days and days but just remember they can be a good thing - it means her body is fighting off whatever infection she has.
I can't remember - has she had roseola? If she hasn't had any other symptoms but the fever so far, it could be that.
If she's sick, they will sleep a lot and that's not a bad thing. Maybe she's still fighting the virus.
ReplyDeleteTTC is always a bitter thing when it's not easy for you...
Ugh. I'm sorry Sadie is still sick. I do think it's normal for babies to sleep lots when they are under the weather. Still, it will give you peace of mind to have her ped check her out. I hope she is feeling better soon! {{{}}}
ReplyDeleteThe TTC thing is a tough one. I'm sorry it hit you on an already rough day.