H1N1 Vaccination

I called my OB today to ask if I would be able to get my vaccination at my appointment on Monday and they told me they would not be giving them out. Wouldn't it make sense for them to offer it since they have a captive audience? Instead, I have to go to a public health clinic.
This is going to be chaos.
Our plan of attack is to get the shot on Monday and we've booked VACATION days to do it! Crazy!!

OMG...

People are actually buying stuff off of our baby registry!! I don't know why I'm so surprised, but I am! Neato. 3 things so far and all stuff we want but wouldn't be excited to actually buy ourselves. Looks like our family members are being very practical shoppers.

Is it bad to check your registry to see what is being purchased? I guess it ruins the surprise but it is too hard to resist!

Shopping Envy

Since being pregnant I've found that there is a huge gap in availability of baby related products in Canada. It is so annoying!!!

My number one grievance has been with the Boppy Pillow. It is not sold in Canada, at all! We do have a rip-off, but I really wanted a Boppy and when I want something... I want it. There have been many other (equally frivolous) examples of items we've really liked but cannot get here. They are mostly available online and will not ship to Canada or store to pick-up. We've even considered using a mail forwarding service to access some of these cool things but gave up on that idea because it was going to be expensive and not worth it

When we complain about this people get "high and mighty" about it saying that safety standards are different in Canada. In some cases that's true but otherwise that is not the case. Plus different doesn't mean BETTER. I'm pretty sure a PILLOW is not a dangerous item to bring into the country! In reality it is because Canada is a small market compared to the US and investing in shipment and distribution here is not always profitable. Why do people always get so pissy when we say we love the states or are envious of things we can't have? Deal with it!!

Anyway....

D's mom came to the rescue and bought us our Boppy pillow when she was in the states this weekend. We haven't seen it yet but we asked for the Dwell Studio version sold at Target and she said she "didn't get the one that was on sale". I know this probably ate her up but since the regular Boppy is a lot cheaper, I'm pretty certain we got the one we wanted!

She also bought us the bookcase we wanted, as seen below. I've been wanting this bookcase for years!!

I'm very happy. Both items were available in store at Target. We could have gone down ourselves but time has been flying by and it just hasn't happened yet. This seems impossible but I'm pretty sure we will not leave Canada (or even the province) at all this year! Crazy!!

PS - The 3:00 am chat room could have been open this morning!!! It's now 4:30 and I'm heading back to bed.

Sleep is Overrated

How does a person, who is completely exhausted, spend the hours between approximately 10:00 pm and 6:30 am? Not sleeping. At least in my case.

The funny thing is that people were constantly asking me how I was sleeping. I never understood the question. I'm pregnant, exhausted and I love sleeping. Duh. I guess I'm eating that attitude now because every single night is turning into a battle. The heartburn and related nausea I'm suffering is unbearable. When I asked my OB about it he told me to try Maalox or Gaviscon. He said Tums would not longer work. No shit.

It doesn't seem like Gaviscon is working either.

I'm also so alert. Before I'd shuffle to the bathroom, pee, and return to bed in a fog. Now I see the time (it's ONLY 12:00 am? WTF?) and want to cry. I feel like I'm ready to get up and start my day on the hour, every hour, all night long and morning NEVER comes fast enough. Last night I got up and started watching Tivo'd shows at 2:30 am and surprisingly functioned normally at work.

I guess this is natures way of preparing my body to deal with Sadie once she's here?
I was thinking about that last night. Will this ability to function on no sleep last? Will it be the same as now except with a crying baby? No nausea, heartburn or sore parts? I hope so???? Maybe it will be even better and I'll get some sleep? Eventually?

Although I'm NOT sleeping and night time sucks I don't think I'm complaining, yet. My IRL friend is currently 36 weeks pregnant and she's wanted the baby out for a couple of weeks. Every time I read her facebook status complaining about "still being pregnant' I tell Sadie she is welcome to stay in for the full 10 weeks left. No pressure to vacate. I guess I'm judging her (just a tad) but I can't understand wanting a baby to come before 37 weeks????

I digress.

Can't sleep. I'm not really complaining about it because I feel like a super human but I could really deal without the freakin' heartburn!!!!

30 weeks and Prenatal Classes

I had my 30 week appointment yesterday. Things went well and I did not leave wanting to switch OB's like last time!! I contribute this to the fact that St. Mike's is a teaching hospital so there are often med students and I love it when there are. It means twice the attention for me and the doctor will explain everything in full detail. That was the case yesterday!

Now, I'm not sure if the following is good, bad or irrelevant news but at my next appointment (32 weeks) I will be having a Biophysical Profile (BBP) done. I've read up on this and it sounds like this ultrasound is normally done late in the 3rd trimester *unless* there is an issue. Hypertension was on the list of potential reasons for an early 3rd tri test so maybe that is it? He wrote on the requisition: "low weight gain", "position'. I haven't gained any new weight (still at 6 lbs total) but he said that was of no concern at all because my measurements are perfect. He also said that he wasn't concerned that Sadie was "frank breech" 2 weeks ago because there's still time for her to move. YET... look at the reasons on the requisition? I'm hoping he is just being cautious (which I appreciate).

I'm on my way to two more appointments today - my therapist and the High Risk specialist. I am so sick of doctors!! I can't imagine how hard this is going to be to maintain once the appointments are weekly! How do you even do it?

Anyway.... In other news, outside of Baby Shower drama,we also had our Prenatal class this past weekend. We had a good time and it certainly got us talking about what we want our birth plan to look like. The Queer Positive class was taught by a Homeopathic Physician & Doula. She was great if not slightly (completely) biased towards natural childbirth as were all of the participants in the class. The group was diverse and included a gay couple using a surrogate, an FTM trans couple carrying their child, and 5 lesbian couples. Aside from the couple using a surrogate, we were the ONLY couple using an OB! The others were all with midwives and all but one were doing home births. Great.

Where does that leave us? Prior to the class I thought I'd likely have an epidural. I wasn't keen on the idea after seeing this demonstration yet people kept telling me how amazing they were and how horrible it was BEFORE getting it. I'm a lot more apprehensive now that I've been flooded with anti-epidural propaganda. We were essentially told that an epidural can lead to a prolonged second stage of labor, vacuum extraction and/or forceps, an episiotomy and a c-section. Of course, since we're laboring in a hospital with an OB we'll likely be "pressured into those interventions" sooner than with a midwife . Needless to say I do not want a c-section but more specifically I really do not want a c-section after a 25 hour "failure to progress" labor. That would suck. A lot. Doula 911 - we need her now more than ever!

Aside from being confused we did learn a lot and we also met a lot of great people. Overall it was a good idea to take the class. I'm now really looking forward to the hospital tour. Initially I wasn't going to go on one since I'd had my time in L&D already however I have a lot of questions I need answered. I also want to see the birthing rooms to find out if showers or birthing tubs are available. I'm also interested in using a birthing chair (if no epidural).

30 weeks.... OMG.... all of sudden it feels like so little time and so much planning to do!!

Conclusion

I had a long, hour and a half, conversation with my mother today about my disappointment. To summarize:

1) I am angry with my Aunt for asking if it would be OK not to attend the baby shower for the following reasons:

• Family makes sacrifices for family and with 3 weeks notice I would have accepted her regrets had she made the effort to switch her shift first.
• In the past 2 years we have attended my cousins Stag & Doe, Wedding/Reception and Baby Shower. This is OUR turn to celebrate an accomplishment and we would expect that our presence and generosity during their special times would be reciprocated during ours.
• Using the 2 hour time frame of the shower is a BS excuse to say it is not worth her time. We're talking a 60 minute difference from her daughters shower. That's a petty argument.

2) I am angry with YOU (my mother) for not saying something to my Aunt or standing up for us.

3) A family get together at a later date is not equal to having my family attend my baby shower.

4) No, this is not about presents even if given at a later date. It is about having the support of my family and expecting the same treatment as others have received.

5) The damage has been done and cannot be fixed by telling my Aunt I want her to attend.

My mom said she'd wished that I'd said something the other night. I think I needed a few days to relax because at the time I was really angry. She's not going to say anything to her younger sister but will open the communication to my other Aunt to see if she will still go with her daughter (my 4th cousin). She said she was going to comment on how she is annoyed with her younger sister for not attending but I told her not to. There was an issue with "talking behind backs" leading up to my cousins shower and I do not want that at all. Ironically that time it was about my older Aunt not attending my cousins shower and boy was my younger Aunt pissed. Oh how the tables have turned now...

The conclusion.... My family baby shower is going to be awesome because of the family that WILL be there. I'm not going to waste any more time about the people who will not attend. It's hard not to take it personally but this really isn't worth any more of my time!!!

Family Sucks!

At least mine does and I hate that I feel that way. I hate that they disappoint me. I hate that a single phone call at the end of an amazing week could knock me right off my feet and make me feel horribly sad. Thanks, Mom.

The situation? I found out that my step-mom had sent out the invites to our baby shower and that she wrote the party time as between 1 and 3pm. Needless to say I'm slightly annoyed. My parents are SOCIAL. They throw large parties on a regular basis and they are never so rigidly planned. 2 hours for a baby shower? What does that say to people? Please come and drop off a present and take a piece of cake? The only excuse I can think of is that they are not formal invitation types.

Anyway, my mother was the first to relay the complaints of how "odd" the invite was. My Aunt (mom's younger sister and mom of my pregnant cousin) was one of those who complained. Apparently she's working that day and so is my youngest cousin and "they do not want to lose a full day of pay for 2 hours". My mother went on to say that they had a "great idea". She suggested that instead of my 4 cousins, 2 aunts and mother going to my baby shower they would have a "family get together after the babies are born". That way, my mother told me enthusiastically, my cousin and I could "get together with the babies" and "wouldn't that be fun?".

My response was "I really don't care" but not to plan anything within the first 2 months after the birth because that's full on winter (I'm not driving) and flu season. I told her we would not be parading the new baby around and I refused to commit to it. Whether that is true or not (I do hope people will actually visit us in Toronto and not expect us to commute) I didn't have an appropriate response otherwise. I mean, what could I say? I don't want to FORCE anyone to come to my baby shower. I don't want to make my Aunt & Cousin feel like they need to lose money over it. I wanted to tell her to fuck her family get together and that I'd send pictures of the baby to all of the above. However, even if the tone of my voice gave my extreme disappointment away, my mother wouldn't ever have picked up on it. She thought the idea was GREAT! There would be no convincing otherwise.

The reality is that my mother wasn't coming anyway (because of my father) and my other Aunt lives 9 hours away. Although she had *promised* to come I wouldn't have been that surprised if she'd cancelled. I was really banking on my mom's youngest sister to be there with her daughters. She's the ONLY maternal family I have in Southern Ontario and needless to say I'm furious with her for starting all of this. Having just co-hosted her own daughters shower makes it even more upsetting. Why do they think it is OK to deny me the same treatment at my shower?We were all there for her (not my mother, of course). Having a family get together with my cousin and her baby AFTER ours is born is not celebrating OUR pregnancy. It's a family get together to see the babies. I really can't understand how she doesn't see this?

Honestly, I'm really at my limit with them all at this point. D was ready to make phone calls telling them how upset I was but I urged her not to. She doesn't get that my "I don't care" response is the result of YEARS of being disappointed by my family. Yes, I do care and I did cry to the point of sobbing after speaking to my mom but that won't change anything. It never has and it never will. I'm once again left wondering why they are all so selfish. I know the reality is that my mother sees things her way and apparently sides with her sister. I do not know why 4 weeks notice is not enough time to "switch shifts" to make time but I do know that my step-mom will be pissed off when the regrets come in. I also know she will not keep her displeasure to herself. She's a tough cookie. Maybe if someone else calls them out on it they may see the reality of what it means.

As for the stupid invites? I guess it's too late now that they are out. I'd really like to know what they were thinking or if they weren't. The party will not be 2 hours. That is logistically impossible. I hope other people are smarter and figure that out.