I’m going to take a break from the “non-challenge” to write about something else that has been on our minds lately. Basically we’ve been talking a lot about being “one and done”, Sadie as an only child. Crazy, right? I’d come to the TTC table saying 3 but no less than 2 and now we’re seriously thinking that we’re happy just the way we are.
I don’t know what to do. I’m feeling a lot of pressure to perform this time. I feel pressure that we need to “get this done” by a certain time so that our kids are X number of years apart or before I’m 35 (because I did a shit poor job of getting pregnant before 30). I worry about going through another high risk pregnancy or not being able to get pregnant. I feel like we’re just getting our lives back and I’m not only talking about being over the pregnancy and newborn stages. I’m also talking about the void of September 2007-April 2009 when we existed only to TTC. Right now I don’t feel at a loss not having a second but I know that when we start trying again it will be all consuming just like the first…. and if it doesn’t work… will I be broken forever? Will it ruin the good that we already have? Can’t I just enjoy Sadie and do this again in 10 years?
We’ve agreed not to talk about it again until October but it will be on my mind constantly, I know it will be.
It's a tough decision. We're in the same boat right now, still not totally decided whether we'll have a third. I'm mostly leaning towards not having a third now, but there are days when I worry that I'll regret it or that we're making a mistake. Other days I feel like life is just perfect the way it is. Now that Ian is getting older and, like you said, we're getting our life back and things are getting easier, it's getting harder to imagine going back to that whole pregnancy/newborn thing again.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your decision.
Well, there's nothing wrong with having one child so don't feel like you have a pressure to have another. You can't know what is right for you until you see how things go and what it feels like. Before having kids, perhaps it seemed reasonable to have 3 kids. Now that you have 1, maybe you have changed and only want 1. Just take your time thinking about it. I don't think kids have to be x years apart. I mean, look at our kids are 2 years apart but I'm 15 years older than my brother. You still have time.
ReplyDeleteWe wanted one from the start for many reasons, and now that our one is 2 years old, that hasn't changed. It just feels right to stay as we are...and easier in so many ways. There really is no right or wrong of course, but there are pros and cons to every decision.
ReplyDeleteWe are in the same position, but I'm 41 so we have to decide like RIGHTNOW. It is such a hard decision, especially since there really is no right or wrong answer. I think if I weren't so OLD, I'd probably wait another year and do it again. We are hoping to decide by the end of the summer...
ReplyDeleteI'll def be checking back in to see others' responses.
Only you and D can decide for your family what the right answer is for your family- every family is different. I definitely know that I want to try again this coming winter/spring and I have had the "itch" for a few months. I always wanted 2 kids and now I am thinking, what about 3! I never thought I would want 3 kids. Funny huh. If we could afford it, I would be in ttc right now, but we have to wait for finances- again because that is what is right for our family. You should make a list-I love lists and it can set out all the pros and cons. You will figure it out- just give it time and thought.
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