3rd Trimester!

I can't believe we're in the 3rd tri already!!!

I won't lie though... I'm happy for the progress BUT I've been feeling pretty crappy. It's so true that the 2nd trimester is the best!!

Too tired to write more today or even catch up on blogs. )=

Our Adorable Baby Girl!!

We had our 3D ultrasound this morning. It was a lot of fun but Sadie was NOT cooperating at all!
We were happy regardless and we were pleased that our 20 minute "$99. Tuesday Special" appointment ended up being 45 minutes long. At the end they even asked if we'd come back later to see if we could try again (for free). I wasn't up for it. I know that sounds silly but even as the appointment went on I was shooting D looks to tell her I was done. Ultrasounds are fun but I have limits! I'm guessing that some women may be more likely to complain about not getting a lot of pictures or the quality. We're easy to please because we were thrilled with the session!

She is currently in the frank breech position which means she is bum down in a V shape. Because of this we were not able to get a clear shot of her face. We did get some great profiles though. We were also told 90% girl but she was crossing her legs so it was hard to tell. Here are my favorite pictures.

Picture #1 - Check out her adorable dimple! She's so cute..... but of course I'd say that!!

Picture #2: Those are her knees touching her face and her adorable little hand! I love this shot. I think it is my favorite of them all.
Picture #3: This was the first picture we saw and it was so surprising. She looks so much like my family! We can't wait to see her in person. Will she be my "mini-me"? I'm not sure if that is a good thing....!!

Sadie's Room (Almost done!)

We've accomplished a lot this weekend!

1) Cleared the spare room completely

2) Shampooed the carpet

3) Put down the new PBK rug

4) Completed our "Change Table"

5) Applied the Wall Art

6) Hung Sadie's name on the wall

The pictures:

For our "Change Table" we opted to use our old Ikea Hensvik 3 drawer dresser. I wouldn't say this was a money saving venture because we did end up spending money on the accessories. This is our "before" shot:

Here is the "after" shot. The drawer knobs are from Pottery Barn Kids and the Changing Pad was from a store in Toronto called Li'l Niblets & Sprouts. We love the Changing Pad because it is vinyl/waterproof. We're going to use a receiving blanket in the same pattern (Kushies) to make it soft for Sadie.

Here are some pictures of the Wall Art and Sadie's name on the wall. We're not done with the letters of her name. Right now they are only hanging by ribbon and we do plan on buying something to secure them to the wall (make them less wonky). The circles are "DottiLicious" by WallCandy and the Flowers are by Umbra.
And finally... a Picture of ME where I have not censored my face! This is my 27.5 week belly shot. I'm standing in the parking lot of a grocery store. IF I'd had a better camera we could have captured the CN Tower which was glowing beautiful colours. Instead, I'm just standing in a parking lot! Thrilling.

To complete the room we still need to find a glider and arrange for the delivery of our crib. We also need to buy curtains and do something with the closet. We are thinking of using curtains so we do not have to see the dresser at all times. We also want to add some shelving.

For now, I'm exhausted!!!!!

Feeling better...

Thank you for your kind words and advice. Yesterday was awful – end of the world awful – but today is so much better.
I assume this all started on Tuesday with my less than thrilling OB appointment however the stress of it all didn’t peak until Wednesday night. D said that I was snoring and whimpering at the same time, crying in my sleep. She didn’t want to wake me. In the middle of the night I woke up sick to my stomach and in pain. Everything hurt: my hips, my back, my knees and wrists. I all of a sudden had a dreaded fear of “WTH have I gotten myself into?” Apparently I’m going crazy? D says it’s the baby causing my hormones to go whacky but I know that my past issues with anxiety play a role too. I’m on meds. I’ve been on them since TTC and they have kept me level. Until this week, I guess. Before that my typical pregnancy anxiety has been about the stupidest things ever – e.g. hitting a big bump in the road and wondering if that was the equivalent of a car accident. Or, you know, worrying that Sadie had grown a Penis (I still worry about that one).
I’m going to e-mail my Doula. She has made herself available for the entire pregnancy but I’ve only reached out to her once. I think it is now time that I start to use her as a resource so I can get myself through harder times. I’m also wondering if I’d benefit from some sort of meditation. Maybe she’ll know of a program I can join.
I need to relax. I need to stop reading Baby Center because those women are crazy and it leaks into my head as well. I need to remember that H1N1 is not SARS all over again. I need to make it through the next few months without going bonkers.
One day at a time…

Anxiety

My anxiety is so bad right now.

So bad that I don't want to leave the house.

So bad that I didn't go to work today.

So bad that I've already told my manager that I'm not going tomorrow.

What am I going to do? I saw my OB on Tuesday and he gave me all of 3 minutes of his time. He didn't ask how I was doing or how I was feeling. He simply measured my belly, my weight, my BP and the HB. I tried to ask a question and he answered it while walking out the door. He didn't even say goodbye.

I hated being there. The waiting room (or hallway) was full of sick pregnant ladies in masks (3 of them). I wish I was normal and could process this without freaking out. I sat in the farthest seat from them and was practically in another wing of the hospital. Other women, all pregnant, sat beside them and around them.

I e-mailed my Doula and I asked her what she thought about the flu and giving birth in flu season and she suggested that if it gets bad there may be "alternative birthing sites". She may not be allowed to come to the hospital if it gets bad.

I'm freaking out. I feel like I'm going to catch the flu and die. I feel like for some reason the universe will take me away from Sadie or that D will be taken away from us.

I'm having such a hard time coping with these thoughts and D is beside herself and unsure what to do.

She doesn't understand because she has never suffered from depression or anxiety. She's not the one who is pregnant and so insecure.

It's all me. I feel so alone.

An honest post... sorry if I'm such a downer.

To do list?

We still have a lot to do to get the room together and I have big plans! We still need to buy/mount shelves, return the carpet swatches, buy the carpet, schedule the delivery of the crib, find/buy curtains, put up wall art, figure out the changing table, baby proof, and more that I probably haven't thought of!

Here's a picture of the newly closeted dresser (our biggest accomplishment to date):

and that's all I'm sharing for now...... I can't wait to finally reveal the room once it is done!

Progress

We made a lot of progress on Sadie’s room this weekend. I’m very proud of what we have accomplished. The old couch was taken to our large pick-up zone (it took D nine trips) and we found a solution for our dresser. The room is now filled with black garbage bags that are full of recycling, garbage and donation items. It was bumpy at the beginning because we both had a hard time making decisions about what we wanted to keep. By the end I was determined to get rid of everything. The reality is that the storage situation in our condo sucks but at the same time, once we were going through stuff, it hit me that we really didn’t need any of it. As for the dresser, that was the one thing that we were both sad to give up. We had bought it when we lived in our apartment and when we moved to the condo we realized it was too big for the master bedroom so we put it in the spare room. What we ended up doing was taking the doors off of Sadie’s closet (sliding doors) and we put the dresser inside it. It fit within an eighth of an inch so we were very lucky. Now we have a huge amount of space for clothing – both ours and hers. Unfortunately we have lost the ability to hang items in the closet but in reality most baby clothes belong in drawers and not on hangers. Since I’m the handy woman around the condo, once Sadie is here, I plan on raising the shelf enough that we have storage space and room for hangers. Until then, this will have to do and if there are any dress clothes that need hung up they can go in our closet.
This brings me to a small rant about the condo. I can’t believe how many people have asked if we’re going to move!! It’s like they can’t imagine us raising a child downtown or in such a small space and I’m so sick of justifying our choice to stay. However, at the same time, when we went to our cousin’s shower we were a bit bummed when we saw the size of her SIL’s house. We felt like “we could never have that” but when we got home we found a house for sale on her street that was $50,000 less than the current list price for units in our condo. So yeah, we CAN afford that however we are not prepared to trade the convenience of where we live. We are not prepared to spend up to 3 hours (on a good day) commuting to work and home. In a very lazy way, I also have no desire to shovel snow or maintain yard work. I love that when my roof leaks I can fix it by sending an e-mail with no contractors or quotes or additional money out of my pocket. Yes, there are perks to those pesky condo fees.
So yes, we’re staying. I think about people living in Manhattan and pretend I’m one of them. Our place is small but big enough for what we really need. No, we can’t store all of my childhood toys or every playbill x20 to every show we’ve ever seen. One day we’ll move but not now and when we do, it may be to a 3 bedroom condo. I have to admit, I love the lifestyle!