BFN

Tested again tonight and still BFN. Darn it all. The Faint BFP (FRER) was taken at 1:30 am after going to bed just before 10:00 pm so 3.5 hours without peeing. My BFN came after a full night - probably 8 hours (FRER). I just tested again and it came up BFN ($1 store test) - around 2.5 to 3 hours held. I have 2 more FRER lined up and 3 more $1 store. I googled BFN after BFP and came up with Chemical Pregnancy and it said that up to 60% of first time pregnancies are Chemicals but most people would never know except those who test early/often and may catch it. I'm not giving up yet but I do wish AF would come ASAP so we can move to the next phase of our journey... I don't like not knowing.

BFP!!!

I bought a P-Stick yesterday morning on our way to the water park and just woke up about a half an hour ago with about 2.5 hours of saved up goodness.... peed in a cup... dipped the stick in the cup.... (I'm really not one to use the stream) and guess what....??? OMG a second line. DW didn't believe me because it's super faint but I have spent enough time looking at BFN to know this isn't one. So it looks like as of 11 DPO we have a faint BFP!

Am I pregnant?

I do not have any p-sticks in stock so no news as of yet. I'm having some awful panic attacks right now about being pregnant - something I haven't experienced my previous 5 attempts even the time I read false positives out of the garbage can. I called my mom yesterday and she said it was probably because after all of the trying and disappointment over the past year I'd forgotten what the end result was.

OMG

In the past I may have thought I had symptoms in the past but now I feel like I actually do... and I'm freaking out! This morning I woke up and was so sick. I threw up (mostly dry heaving) on and off over an hour. I also feel like AF is hear right now.... I hope that throwing up is NOT a symptom because I'm not up for a lot of morning sickness but.... could it be? I think I may actually be pregnant this time!

What?

I can't believe this but my clinic actually called and asked me to come in for b/w. I think it's because I bitched at my RE's receptionist while my RE was on vacation and told her about my fallout with the nurse regarding PCOS. So I guess I'm getting special b/w to test for that? I want to get a dx before moving to a known donor so this will help!

3 DPO

I'm very happy to be 3 DPO. My IUI on Saturday sucked. The doctor was one I had never seen before and he did not make a great impression on me. After being late he did my IUI (it hurt a lot) and mumbled "hope it works" as he left. He didn't give me my results and the nurse wouldn't either -she said they'd call with them but of course they didn't. I was pretty upset and felt that this cycle was a waste. I pretty much went from the clinic directly into a swimming pool. I'm not sure if swimming is the best thing to do after an IUI but I had my nephew and it was sooo hot out! Sunday made up for the suckiness of Saturday. The doctor that day was awesome. I didn't think I'd ever say that! He was so friendly and the procedure didn't hurt at all. The best part was that he looked at my sample under the microscope - for the first time I actually saw my swimmers!! It was amazing. Although I'm still in shock over how small sperm is - that may sound stupid but it's really really small. I also found out that my follicle was 22 mm before ovulation and I had ovulated overnight. which means this cycle wasn't a bust.... I have everything crossed that this one has worked!!!

New Clinic

I saw my Dr. on Thursday and she's referred me to a new clinic (wait 4-6 weeks) and suggested I write a letter to the clinic explaining why I am unhappy. She said she is working with the fert clinics to help make them more "gay friendly" and my input would help a lot. I may need some advice so I don't get too emotional but I need several days before I can even think about it.

As for my current cycle from hell... I've been called in for my IUI for Saturday and Sunday. I hope this is a viable cycle and I'm not wasting more money.. needless to say I'm going to do it. The funny thing is that we have my 2.5 year old nephew for the weekend. He's going to have a fun time going to the fertility clinic 2x a day. It's likely going to rain so it's not like there is going to be anything else to do!