For the past 3 nights Sadie has gone to bed in HER bed. We've even given her the choice and she chooses her own room. Too easy, right?
On the first night she lasted until 11:30 before she woke up screaming and in tears. I brought her into bed with me and she hugged me super tight!
On the second night she lasted until 11:00 pm before letting Mommy know she'd had enough. D was still awake so she brought her to me. That night was pretty brutal. Sadie was up until about 3:00 am (with Granny who volunteered) before being put back to bed... in her own bed. An hour or so later she screamed and cried and wouldn't settle down even with lots of hugs and kisses. It was a BAD night.
Last night (night #3) she lasted again until around 11:00 pm before she came into my room and stood silently staring at me until I woke up by instinct. Kinda freaky. I brought her in my bed.
It would seem that we're actually doing this. I'm sad because I love my night time cuddles and had even imagined Sadie still in our bed when #2 arrived. I love co-sleeping.
The problem is that co-sleeping is quite literally ruining our marraige. We haven't slept in the same room since April '10 and I am dealing with major resentment towards D for sleeping through the night when I'm not. The main problem with the current arrangement is that I'm always first in line for all sleep issues and let me tell you how I want to murder D when I go to ask for help and she is sleeping so soundly that I need to shake her......
There is also my "angry all the time state", my twitching eyes and being tired all the time. It finally occurred to me that D uses the excuse that she's cranky when she doesn't sleep well. What does that mean for me? I never sleep well so no wonder I'm such a bitch. I think the accumulative sleep loss is finally taking it's toll on me.
So that's where we are. I feel like we have a long road ahead of us dealing with independant sleeping, saying goodbye to bottles and retiring Sadie's much beloved chooch. Poor kid. ):
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It is hard at first but will get better if you're consistent. (I know you already know that.) If I were you, I wouldn't get rid of everything all at once. (I'm not sure if you mean you're doing it all at once or if you just mean those are all things that are going to happen eventually.) I would let her get used to her own room for a while, then move onto getting rid of the bottles, and last the soother. In times of transition, the soother is a good thing.
ReplyDeleteIt does sound like this is the best move for your whole family, for sure, so try to stick with it. I know it's hard but I would put her back to bed in her own room when she wakes up, even if that means you have to stay in there until she's asleep for a while. Try to keep her in her own bed, but rub her back, etc. I know it's hard in the middle of the night and you just want everyone to get back to sleep.
Thanks. I was actually going to ask for advice on bringing her back into my bed or maybe sleeping with her in hers. I don't know how well I'm going to handle this. ):
ReplyDeleteas for the bottles and soother, we already started weaning the bottle. She is ok getting a sippy cup in the middle of the night but not at bedtime. Eventually I would love for her to have no milk in the night... sippy OR bottle because It's not every night right now. As for the chooch... That is going to be an epic battle that we haven't even discussed yet... By 3.... We'll do before 2013.
We do lie with Erik at night still. (Not Ian because his bed is too small, but we stay with him for a few minutes rubbing his back and singing songs and then we leave while he's still awake.) Erik almost always falls asleep while we're reading his books, so whoever is with him will just get up and leave once he falls asleep. On nights when he's still awake after all his books, one of us will lie with him for a few minutes. If he's still not asleep, we kiss him goodnight and leave and he's fine. I always tell him I'm going to be back in a few minutes to check on him and then I keep my promise. He's almost always asleep by that point for sure, but if for some reason he's not, I just again say goodnight and tell him I'm going to check on him again a little later.
ReplyDeleteErik had a soother addiction too. We wanted to be rid of it well before Ian was born because we worried he'd relapse if he saw the new baby with one and it was still fresh in his memory. We got lucky because he started chewing holes in them. We had a certain number of sooses left and we told him that once they had holes, they had to go in the garbage and we couldn't buy anymore because the store doesn't make them for big kids. When the last one got a hole, Kim suggested he try sleeping without it. He said, "Okay, I'll try." And although he was a bit restless the first few nights without it, he never looked back. Ian never took one, thank god because I know we wouldn't get lucky enough to break the habit that easily twice (although actually, we wished he would have taken one because it's so much easier to calm them when they'll take one.)
Oh, how I dread this part of parenting! I KNOW she has to get out of our bed some time, but then I realize how miserable we'll all be and I put it off more and more! I hope you all get some sleep!
ReplyDeletesounds like you are off to a good start. i agree with the others in trying to keep her in her own bed if she wakes (easier said than done, i know). wishing you continued success!!
ReplyDeleteNo advice, just sympathy. My kids are pretty bad sleepers. They still, at 16 months need to be nursed to sleep. They usually wake up sometime between 11 and 3am, and will be transferred to our bed where they will nurse themselves back to sleep. It's hard being the one who has to be "on" all night and dealing with kids who just don't want to sleep in their own beds. I can feel myself getting crankier and meaner as the night wears on!
ReplyDelete