We had a good laugh yesterday over how I was going to get home from the hospital after giving birth. I'm the driver of the family and it seems obvious that I will not drive myself to the hospital... so unless my mom comes into the city, we'll be taking public transit or walking (we are close to a few hospitals). The thing is that my mom is so afraid of driving in Toronto. I usually pick her up at Yorkdale mall and drive her to my place. She just can't handle it.

Speaking of her.. she is against me having a baby. I mention it and she always says "Don't! It will ruin your life". There is sad irony in this statement - I'm an only child! So she didn't enjoy being a parent, that's fine. It doesn't mean I will have the same experience. In all honesty I cannot blame my mother. She was very idealistic. She had "white picket fence" dreams and what she got was my father leaving her and a toddler that grew up into a handful of a child. All of that said, we've been discussing when to tell her. We think we'll wait until I'm later in the pregnancy so she does not upset me early on. She lives far enough away that not knowing for the first 6 months will not be a problem. This will be interesting.

Clinic #2 called on Monday but I was so busy and stressed out that D forgot to tell me.
I called today (late in the afternoon) and was able to schedule an appointment in 2 weeks. Originally they could have booked me for Wednesday next week but I'm booked up with meetings.

I'm glad I'm going to Clinic #2 before Clinic #1. I have an uneasy feeling about Clinic #1 so I'll feel a lot better knowing the scoop on #2 before going there. Who knows, I may like Clinic #1 but everything in my gut is telling me I wont.

Clinic #4, the one my Dr. recommended hasn't called. I didn't want to go to that one either... but who knows what's going to happen.

#1 booked 2 months out.
#2 had an appointment almost immediately.

I'm not ready to try until July or August but getting in now, so fast, will make me want to try sooner. I have to be prepared to wait. June is going to be so stressful, I can't be carrying under that stress so I'm not going to try.

July will be here soon.

As mentioned below...
Even though all we want is a "healthy baby"... Everyone thinks it and some people know the sex of the baby they want.


... I want a boy & D wants a girl.

I think we're going to have a boy. I can't imagine anything else but I would be equally thrilled to have a girl (I just wrote "equally thrilled to have a boy" by accident, that's how stuck on a boy I am).

This is the nursery .
It's 10'4 X 8' but the closet takes up 2' so therefore we have an 8x8 nursery.

It's so small.

Since we plan on selling we're not going to be making up the room too much. We're going to keep it simple with Wall Art.
We're thinking of painting the room a beige like colour.
From below, we like Filtered Sunlight. Last column, 6 down. The wall will be adorned with Wallcandy Dottitlicious to make it more colourful. \With this carpet and wall art like this. I also like the colour of this green (behind the wall art) as an accent in the room. The light (image to the left) is the current light in the room and will stay.












We won't be buying any fancy crib linens because I've read that bumpers and blankets are a sids risk. We'll buy that stuff once the baby is closer to 1 year.

I feel like I'm going to have a boy - that actually translates into - I think I want a boy (more on that later). If we do have a girl I think this room will be fine too.

I'm a planner and I think a lot about money. I've worked out that TTC is actually cheaper than when the baby will be born. Of course it totally sucks that we have to pay for sperm when straight couples do not but if you cannot afford $700 - $1000 per month to conceive, how will you afford a baby?

In Ontario, Mat Leave is 55% of your salary to a maximum of $413/week. Being on Mat and parental leave is not free time off from work - it's expensive time off work but it allows you to care for your child rather than leaving them with a stranger. We had originally discussed sharing the parental leave but since there is a cap on your pay and I make less than D, I'm the one that will be off the entire time.

After Mat leave/Parental Leave - there is daycare. Due to geography, we do not have parents available to watch our wee one. I see so many of my co-workers leaving their kids with their mom - that's not going to happen. Childcare for infants is expensive - depending if you go to a home daycare or a center, expect to pay $900 - $1400 per month.

What about #2? I have it worked out that our children will likely be 3 to 5 years age difference to avoid double full daycare bills.

Having a baby is expensive. The sperm is cheap in comparison.

I've just paid off my OSAP loan. I've increased my stock contribution to build a nest egg (hopefully) to subsidize the first couple of years of day care.

This is expensive stuff.

We went to Dearborn Baby today to make a wish list of items we want.
We saw the Stokke Crib that I really like. Dee likes it too. Although I'm a bit concerned about the mattress since it seemed a bit pillow like and I've read that isn't safe.


We also saw the Frog Pod that I really want. I first saw it at the Baby and Toddler show. Had it not been on the top shelf without a clear price I probably would have bought it. As mentioned previously we're not going to put the nursery together until after I'm pregnant. All we're doing is painting but we can still look and dream!

It appears there is so much money to be spent.

D received good news at her appointment tonight which was a great relief. We'd had a bit of a scare due to something "not to really worry about" from a test result. Note to my doctor: saying it's nothing to worry about over an answering machine and not explaining is not reassuring. Hello - we all know that no news is good news! I was ill thinking about terrible things until we found out that it really is nothing to worry about.

While she was there she mentioned the clinic mix-up. I now have appointments at Clinic #1, Clinic #2 and Clinic #4. I'm glad my doctor understood and referred us to 2 different places. She said she's also a control freak and understands.

Did she just call me a Control freak? Oh well.