I'm sorry this blog is turning into such a downer but that's where I am right now. Perhaps I should blog more and it will make me feel better.
I've been having good days and bad ones. I had a really good streak of feeling amazing but then it went downhilll again. I've decided that I'm going to hit the road and travel north to see my mom. I think that 99% of my problem is that I'm lonely. Sadie and I get out to programs but it doesn't seem to keep me going like it used to. I can't even say how badly this sucks knowing that I am not cut out to be a stay at home mom. I clearly need people and I think I've underestimated the importance of work on my well being. I'm alone too much and I have too little to think about.
That said, I'm not excited about my eventual return because I know that I'll miss Sadie painfully. I guess this leaves me unhappy no matter what the situation is?
So I'm leaving. I'll probably be gone 2-3 weeks and maybe longer. The major aspects of our reno will happen with me blissfully unaware and Sadie's naps will not be affected by the noise! I'm hoping I I've 3G access but my mom lives on an island in northern Ontario so I'm not sure! Maybe a techno-vacation is a good idea as well?
Thank-you, everyone, for your words of support. Shannon, Stacey, Melissa, YES - hanging out/playdates sounds awesome so we'll have to plan stuff when I get back.
Donor stuff - I haven't contacted anyone regarding the DSR but I will - thank -you for helping out!
Sadie stuff:
Some quick things on my beautiful 7 month old baby!
* She's sleeping through the night now and it seems like this may be the real deal. She goes down between 7:30 and 9:30 (night owl!) and sleeps about 9- 12 hours.
*We're just getting the hang of solids. In other words, more food is now staying in than coming out! I've pretty much resorted to buying frozen organic baby food at Whole Foods. With everything going on it seems to be working the easiest. Apparently Health Canada recommends introducing protein FIRST before fruits and veggies. I had no idea and have started her (so far) on Avocado, Banana, Sweet Potato, Carrots, Pears and Blueberries. It's been a slow process that I plan on picking up now that she seems to be actually swallowing!! As for the protein ---- dear lord, help me! I have tried (fancy organic frozen) but the meat is just so frigging gross!!!
*Sadie has FOUR top teeth coming in at once!!! That is in addition to the bottom two that she already has.
*We have graduated to a convertible car seat. We bought a Britax Boulevard after much debate. I actually wanted the Britax Marathon Cowmooflage but this one had extra side impact protection and as a paranoid mother I couldn't pass it up!
I miss our bucket!!!! It's awful pulling a sleeping baby out of the car to do something like go leisure shopping. Maybe I'll spend less because of it!!
*wawawa bababababab ahhhhhhh mmmmmmm YEAH num and MOMMMMM! Sadie is finally picking up on babbling. She's a pretty quiet baby and this possibly took longer than it should have but she seems to be "talking" now!!
Ok. Boo is up now so another abrupt end to a blog entry!
-- Post From My iPhone
Hopefully a getaway will help you feel better and we'd love to plan something when you get back.
ReplyDeleteSounds like Sadie is doing great. Erik was a quiet baby too but then talked early and never stops talking now. :)
Baby food meat is gross ( neither of our kids liked it.) What we did was buy a small grinder for like $12 at Wal-Mart. It looks like a really tiny food processor. Then we'd just grind up whatever we were having for dinner. You need to add water to some things to make it thin/liquidy enough for her to eat but it really worked well especially with Erik. (Ian was more interested in eating pieces of things earlier.) We used it when we had pasta and things like that too.
I hope that having some time away is just the change of pace you need. Take care mama.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you've got the blues:( I hope you enjoy the trip - an island vacation sounds fun! Maybe that's just because I'm in KCMO right now where it's hot andlandlocked.
ReplyDeleteIt sucks that it's so hard to be a stay at home mom - I doubt you are alone in this - I think it sounds like such a hard thing to do. One of my co- workers fully admits she hated being a SAHM and she loves loved loves her daughter - but she needs to work to stay sane!
I am depressive and anxious and I know it's going to be hard for me too. But it turns out I'll probably go back part time when she's three months old - for financial reasons which I wasn't planning.
Anyway, have a nice time away and I hope you can find ways to sustain when you return. Are you seeing anyone or getting help for the depression?
Take care:) xo