Since the day we started our parenthood journey I have been obsessed with uncovering the identity of our donor. I have searched profiles for clues, joined the DSR, and googled a million and one times. I couldn't handle the "unknown" of the situation and I have never understood how others could be indifferent towards knowing more or seeing pictures. To anyone who asked, I'd say I was doing it for Sadie and that she has a right to this information even if it meant breaking rules and even if it was also just an obssesive mission I was on for my own satisfaction. I mean to say, we have an ID release donor so why not wait until she's 18?
- Last night I purchased 7 new photos of our donor.
- Last night I saw the man we used to conceive our daughter.
- Last night I had a major feeling of regret.
Why did I ever want to know so much? I feel like I've invited this stranger into our home and there's no turning back.
I feel like before the moment we saw his face it was easy to ignore him. He didn't exist. It was as if Sadie was 100% created from my egg alone. She was my mini-me.
Now, her face is shaped like his and she clearly had HIS eyebrows. I looked at my daughter and I saw her in a new light. I saw part of HIM.
It was a very surreal moment. It's hard to explain the true feeling.
Although I regret it then, I've moved on today. Sadie is my perfect boo and if I could meet him I'd thank him a million times over. FATE brought us to him, we only looked at one profile and it was his. Looking back now, had we seen these pictures, and had access to the rest of the database we probably wouldn't have picked him. That would have been so sad.
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JDZ: Two Moms, One Toddler
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Foto Friday
Cheese!!!!!
I love this picture so much I had to post it. My kid is the cutest. (;
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I love this picture so much I had to post it. My kid is the cutest. (;
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
TRIP REPORT -Day 1
We're back....
Our morning started off at the Orlando International Airport Hyatt where we had spent the night after our late flight arrived. We woke up leisurely, got ready and called for the bellman to come for our bags. To our surprise the bellman took us all the way to our car after waiting a good 30 minutes for us to fill out the paperwork and wait in line at the rental desk. Great service! We ended up with a Ford Focus which I chose from the lot. Our bags were loaded for us and we were off!
View from our balcony at the Hyatt
Of course, despite the drive being less than a half hour Sadie fell asleep in the car. We decided that I should check in at the resort while D and Sadie sat in the parking lot with the AC/Car on. Our room was ready so I picked up our stroller rental from baggage check and a surprise package at the front desk and I went to get D and Sadie.
This was our 4th stay at Disney's Pop Century resort and our 3rd time in the 70's (each building is a decade theme - 50's through 90's). We unpacked and opened our package. It was a box full of fun goodies for Sadie from Laurie, Heather and Ryan which included her much loved Disney crocs!
After we went for lunch and had Pizza and Chicken Penne Alfredo which is pretty much all we order from the POP food court. Our next stop was the swimming pool, followed by a nap and then we were off to Epcot.
Sadie REALLY loves her crocs
EPCOT wouldn’t normally be our first stop on a Disney vacation but we had a 4:00 pm dining reservation at Garden Grill which is located there.. I’d heard this place was “amazing” and it featured Mickey Mouse so I grabbed the reservation, the only one available for our entire week, and decided that Sadie’s first taste (literally and figuratively) of Disney would be my least favourite park*.
We arrived at EPCOT about 45 minutes before our reservation and decided to ride Space Ship Earth. Sadie was a real trooper and loved it even though a lot of it was very dark. After the ride we realized we didn’t have a lot of time and would likely have to run for our meal. That was when we first realized that stroller parking sucks and that our stroller was no where near where we were and that a) we should have parked it in a different “lot” and/or b) we shouldn’t have exited through THAT door. The stroller, as it turns out, was a necessary evil. There was no way we could get around without it but at the same time it was allowed in so few places it felt like we were parking it and carrying Sadie half of the time. Needless to say I feel much stronger after this vacation and I think I may have lost weight from sweating profusely from the humid heat while lugging around a 30 lb toddler (who often refused to get back in her “chair”).
So we found the stroller, you know, wayyyyy over there…. And then we had to walk back wayyyy over there in the other direction. We walked quickly until we were stopped and told we couldn’t take our stroller any further so we walked wayyyyy over there again to another stroller parking lot and ditched our wheels.
We finally arrived at Garden Grill, sweaty and gross, and checked in for our reservation. You’ll notice that we look sweaty in most of our pictures and that was because it was so humid the entire time we were there. A much different heat than what we are used to when we go in May. Anyway, we were sat in the upper level of the rotating restaurant and to be honest, it kind of felt like a cafeteria, an empty cafeteria at that which was surprising since the reservation was near impossible to secure. The good news was that the food was really good and the character interaction was amazing. Each character spent a good amount of time with Sadie and we saw them all twice (Mickey, Pluto, Chip and Dale). Sadie wasn’t as wowed as I thought she would be (she’s an old pro) but enjoyed their company. She tried to feed Pluto and I think Chip ended up with a sweet potato fry (from her meal) stuck to his paw. This is what she does at home – she’s constantly feeding Bear (my mom’s dog) so I guess she though she should feed them too.
Chip!
Pluto!
Dale!
Mickey!
Our meal included Turkey, Roast Beef, Smashed Potatoes, Rice and Strawberry-Rhubarb Crisp for dessert. The meal also included Fish but we asked for that to be left off our “family style” platter. It was “all you cared to eat” but we didn’t need a refill. So. Much. Food. I love how Disney doesn’t say “All you CAN eat” but that’s what most of the restaurants were. Sadie was also given a kids plate of food too but she preferred the roast beef over Mac N’ Cheese, chicken drumstick and French fries. Sadly, there was so much food that we barely even touched the dessert and it did look amazing. The vanilla bean ice cream on top of it was really good though and I ate all of it. Note: Had we paid out of pocket, this meal, for 2 adults (Sadie was Free) it would have been $70.
All you care to eat family platter
That drumstick scared me... and still does
After dinner was over we decided to check out the park. We left Future World and started to walk towards Mexico. On our way there we ran into Duffy the Disney bear. Duffy was contrived ...er… I mean… imagined since our last visit to WDW. Duffy is essentially Disney for build-a-bear and had an odd Japanese cult following that amused us during our vacation. There was a small line so we decided to let Sadie meet him.
We ventured on towards Africa where Sadie played drums that were on display. She had a great time.
We then went into Germany which is one of my favourite shops in World Showcase and quickly realized that Sadie was too tired to be in the park any longer and and our day was about to end. We were lucky to be close to boat transportation and hopped on the SS Friendship which took us back to Mexico and closer to the exit. It was a good first day!
View from our room at Pop Century at Dusk
Still wearing the crocs at bedtime
*I know many people love EPCOT but I find it outdated and not enough to keep kids happy. Also, it's always SO hot there and a lot of outdoor walking.
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Our morning started off at the Orlando International Airport Hyatt where we had spent the night after our late flight arrived. We woke up leisurely, got ready and called for the bellman to come for our bags. To our surprise the bellman took us all the way to our car after waiting a good 30 minutes for us to fill out the paperwork and wait in line at the rental desk. Great service! We ended up with a Ford Focus which I chose from the lot. Our bags were loaded for us and we were off!
Of course, despite the drive being less than a half hour Sadie fell asleep in the car. We decided that I should check in at the resort while D and Sadie sat in the parking lot with the AC/Car on. Our room was ready so I picked up our stroller rental from baggage check and a surprise package at the front desk and I went to get D and Sadie.
This was our 4th stay at Disney's Pop Century resort and our 3rd time in the 70's (each building is a decade theme - 50's through 90's). We unpacked and opened our package. It was a box full of fun goodies for Sadie from Laurie, Heather and Ryan which included her much loved Disney crocs!
After we went for lunch and had Pizza and Chicken Penne Alfredo which is pretty much all we order from the POP food court. Our next stop was the swimming pool, followed by a nap and then we were off to Epcot.
EPCOT wouldn’t normally be our first stop on a Disney vacation but we had a 4:00 pm dining reservation at Garden Grill which is located there.. I’d heard this place was “amazing” and it featured Mickey Mouse so I grabbed the reservation, the only one available for our entire week, and decided that Sadie’s first taste (literally and figuratively) of Disney would be my least favourite park*.
We arrived at EPCOT about 45 minutes before our reservation and decided to ride Space Ship Earth. Sadie was a real trooper and loved it even though a lot of it was very dark. After the ride we realized we didn’t have a lot of time and would likely have to run for our meal. That was when we first realized that stroller parking sucks and that our stroller was no where near where we were and that a) we should have parked it in a different “lot” and/or b) we shouldn’t have exited through THAT door. The stroller, as it turns out, was a necessary evil. There was no way we could get around without it but at the same time it was allowed in so few places it felt like we were parking it and carrying Sadie half of the time. Needless to say I feel much stronger after this vacation and I think I may have lost weight from sweating profusely from the humid heat while lugging around a 30 lb toddler (who often refused to get back in her “chair”).
So we found the stroller, you know, wayyyyy over there…. And then we had to walk back wayyyy over there in the other direction. We walked quickly until we were stopped and told we couldn’t take our stroller any further so we walked wayyyyy over there again to another stroller parking lot and ditched our wheels.
We finally arrived at Garden Grill, sweaty and gross, and checked in for our reservation. You’ll notice that we look sweaty in most of our pictures and that was because it was so humid the entire time we were there. A much different heat than what we are used to when we go in May. Anyway, we were sat in the upper level of the rotating restaurant and to be honest, it kind of felt like a cafeteria, an empty cafeteria at that which was surprising since the reservation was near impossible to secure. The good news was that the food was really good and the character interaction was amazing. Each character spent a good amount of time with Sadie and we saw them all twice (Mickey, Pluto, Chip and Dale). Sadie wasn’t as wowed as I thought she would be (she’s an old pro) but enjoyed their company. She tried to feed Pluto and I think Chip ended up with a sweet potato fry (from her meal) stuck to his paw. This is what she does at home – she’s constantly feeding Bear (my mom’s dog) so I guess she though she should feed them too.
Our meal included Turkey, Roast Beef, Smashed Potatoes, Rice and Strawberry-Rhubarb Crisp for dessert. The meal also included Fish but we asked for that to be left off our “family style” platter. It was “all you cared to eat” but we didn’t need a refill. So. Much. Food. I love how Disney doesn’t say “All you CAN eat” but that’s what most of the restaurants were. Sadie was also given a kids plate of food too but she preferred the roast beef over Mac N’ Cheese, chicken drumstick and French fries. Sadly, there was so much food that we barely even touched the dessert and it did look amazing. The vanilla bean ice cream on top of it was really good though and I ate all of it. Note: Had we paid out of pocket, this meal, for 2 adults (Sadie was Free) it would have been $70.
After dinner was over we decided to check out the park. We left Future World and started to walk towards Mexico. On our way there we ran into Duffy the Disney bear. Duffy was contrived ...er… I mean… imagined since our last visit to WDW. Duffy is essentially Disney for build-a-bear and had an odd Japanese cult following that amused us during our vacation. There was a small line so we decided to let Sadie meet him.
We ventured on towards Africa where Sadie played drums that were on display. She had a great time.
We then went into Germany which is one of my favourite shops in World Showcase and quickly realized that Sadie was too tired to be in the park any longer and and our day was about to end. We were lucky to be close to boat transportation and hopped on the SS Friendship which took us back to Mexico and closer to the exit. It was a good first day!
*I know many people love EPCOT but I find it outdated and not enough to keep kids happy. Also, it's always SO hot there and a lot of outdoor walking.
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Friday, August 12, 2011
Nursery School
Since Sadie is a late ’09 baby she’ll qualify for school NEXT September and applications are due early next year. I’m looking forward to getting her out of the house and into programs with Kids but the only thing we know for sure is that I want her in an afternoon program so that I have some involvement in her education, I want to be there after school to pick her up.
We have two choices and ultimately it may come down to the school we get into. God forbid we don’t get into EITHER but that seems highly unlikely. Option #1 is a 3 day a week program that runs for 2.5 hours in either the morning or afternoon and is a very affordable at $250/month. This will be the hard one to get into since its cheap and even my rich neighbours love cheap. Option #2 is a full half day program running 5 days a week and is $700/month. Ultimately we’re talking a $15/day difference between the two programs and when you look at it that way neither is really that expensive.
The issue is with “free” childcare, should we be spending $450 more to send her to the half day program instead of part time. Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose of our arrangement? Also, Option #2 is Montessori and we’d likely want to keep her in the program for JK and SK as well. That’s an investment of $21,000 over 3 years when we could spend $2500 for the part time program and then send her to JK/SK for free at our local school. I suppose we could also send her to Montessori for just the pre-casa program and then switch to public school but that will mean she’ll have been to 3 schools by first grade (our schools do not have kindergarten in the same school as where she will attend first grade).
It’s a difficult decision. On one hand I want to say Sadie’s education is important (which it is) and we SHOULD be investing that extra money but at the same time $700 per month will add up if/when I’m on maternity leave next. Also, I fear I’m being drawn to the adorable uniforms at the Montessori and/or I’m being snobby and wanting to put Sadie in a program we can realistically afford moving forward (ie. when it jumps to 16K per year). I mean, if we only had one…… but……
Is anyone else looking into Nursery school or do you plan on keeping your current daycare provider right until elementary school? Thoughts, opinions?
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We have two choices and ultimately it may come down to the school we get into. God forbid we don’t get into EITHER but that seems highly unlikely. Option #1 is a 3 day a week program that runs for 2.5 hours in either the morning or afternoon and is a very affordable at $250/month. This will be the hard one to get into since its cheap and even my rich neighbours love cheap. Option #2 is a full half day program running 5 days a week and is $700/month. Ultimately we’re talking a $15/day difference between the two programs and when you look at it that way neither is really that expensive.
The issue is with “free” childcare, should we be spending $450 more to send her to the half day program instead of part time. Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose of our arrangement? Also, Option #2 is Montessori and we’d likely want to keep her in the program for JK and SK as well. That’s an investment of $21,000 over 3 years when we could spend $2500 for the part time program and then send her to JK/SK for free at our local school. I suppose we could also send her to Montessori for just the pre-casa program and then switch to public school but that will mean she’ll have been to 3 schools by first grade (our schools do not have kindergarten in the same school as where she will attend first grade).
It’s a difficult decision. On one hand I want to say Sadie’s education is important (which it is) and we SHOULD be investing that extra money but at the same time $700 per month will add up if/when I’m on maternity leave next. Also, I fear I’m being drawn to the adorable uniforms at the Montessori and/or I’m being snobby and wanting to put Sadie in a program we can realistically afford moving forward (ie. when it jumps to 16K per year). I mean, if we only had one…… but……
Is anyone else looking into Nursery school or do you plan on keeping your current daycare provider right until elementary school? Thoughts, opinions?
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Thursday, August 11, 2011
Growing like a WEED
Within the last couple of weeks Sadie has shot up like a weed. It's surreal to look back at pictures of her when she was smaller. Who was that kid? I barely remember. I mean, this was her this time last summer:
Who is that little baby?
Here she is at Christmas:
And now:
Same table, same Kid.
Her attitude is growing like a weed too. I'd heard someone say that "3 is actually worse than 2". If this is true, we're F***ed because 19 months is pretty intense.
Sadie is a lay on the floor, red faced, screaming/crying tantrum thrower. Try to pick her up and she contorts her body in ways I didn't think possible. I'm also pretty sure her arm can rotate 360, twice.
Fun times ahead... fun times...
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Who is that little baby?
Here she is at Christmas:
And now:
Same table, same Kid.
Her attitude is growing like a weed too. I'd heard someone say that "3 is actually worse than 2". If this is true, we're F***ed because 19 months is pretty intense.
Sadie is a lay on the floor, red faced, screaming/crying tantrum thrower. Try to pick her up and she contorts her body in ways I didn't think possible. I'm also pretty sure her arm can rotate 360, twice.
Fun times ahead... fun times...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Random stuff
-For the past 4 nights I have worked on Sadie’s room for 2-3 hours after I’ve put her to bed. For all of my hard work I have one wall, the interior of a closet and her bi-fold doors ¾ painted and I need to go and buy more paint. It’s seems like its taking FOREVER and way too much paint. Considering only ¼ of the project is done, I feel like I should have at least ½ can of paint left. NOT loving the low VOC paint we’ve purchased. It clearly doesn’t go on the walls well.
-My new meds are making me an insomniac. After I finish painting, I’ll shower, and watch TV/surf the net until 1:00 am. It’s been AGES since I’ve been able to stay up past 9:00 pm.
-On the topic of new meds, my GP gave me my anxiety meds for flying. She’s prescribed Klonopin and has given me 8 pills. This means I’ll take them the day before and the day of flying, on each end of the trip. I want to try them out before the vacation to see how I react but with only 4 days worth I don’t want to use them up. Does anyone out there have experience with Klonopin? From reading up online it sounds like its some serious shit. Is this overkill? I haven’t even had a panic attack about flying yet. I mean, there have been a couple of “I can’t do this” moments but nothing with a physical response that would require sedation.
-And Disney, the Mouse got us AGAIN. I’ve upgraded our “not really free dining” which has now cost us $700 from the original “room only” rate of $60. For $1100/week we are getting Park Passes, Hotel and Dining (1 table, 1 quick service, 2 snacks per person). That is the rate we would normally pay WITHOUT dining so I guess it is free when you think of it that way… but still. The good news is that the first week we are going must be wildly unpopular because I was able to get almost every dining reservation I wanted. We are booked into several character meals including dining at Cinderella’s castle. That dinner alone, free with the dining plan, would have cost us $125.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
-My new meds are making me an insomniac. After I finish painting, I’ll shower, and watch TV/surf the net until 1:00 am. It’s been AGES since I’ve been able to stay up past 9:00 pm.
-On the topic of new meds, my GP gave me my anxiety meds for flying. She’s prescribed Klonopin and has given me 8 pills. This means I’ll take them the day before and the day of flying, on each end of the trip. I want to try them out before the vacation to see how I react but with only 4 days worth I don’t want to use them up. Does anyone out there have experience with Klonopin? From reading up online it sounds like its some serious shit. Is this overkill? I haven’t even had a panic attack about flying yet. I mean, there have been a couple of “I can’t do this” moments but nothing with a physical response that would require sedation.
-And Disney, the Mouse got us AGAIN. I’ve upgraded our “not really free dining” which has now cost us $700 from the original “room only” rate of $60. For $1100/week we are getting Park Passes, Hotel and Dining (1 table, 1 quick service, 2 snacks per person). That is the rate we would normally pay WITHOUT dining so I guess it is free when you think of it that way… but still. The good news is that the first week we are going must be wildly unpopular because I was able to get almost every dining reservation I wanted. We are booked into several character meals including dining at Cinderella’s castle. That dinner alone, free with the dining plan, would have cost us $125.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Stella Joy
I want to share this blog with you and I hope that you will pass it on as well. I know most of my readers have 10x the followers I have.
Stella is a sweet little 2 yo girl who has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I came across her story on facebook as we are connected through mutual friends (although not directly, we do not know them). Her family lives in Toronto and she has two moms.
After the diagnosis last month her moms took extended leaves of absences from their jobs to spend time with her before she leaves them. It's sad, so terribly sad and everytime I think about them I cry (like right now).
They are accepting donations to help since they are not working. I have donated because I know if we had to leave work it would be a struggle and working during a time like this would be impossible. Please pass this on...
http://www.stellabrunermethven.com/
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Stella is a sweet little 2 yo girl who has recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. I came across her story on facebook as we are connected through mutual friends (although not directly, we do not know them). Her family lives in Toronto and she has two moms.
After the diagnosis last month her moms took extended leaves of absences from their jobs to spend time with her before she leaves them. It's sad, so terribly sad and everytime I think about them I cry (like right now).
They are accepting donations to help since they are not working. I have donated because I know if we had to leave work it would be a struggle and working during a time like this would be impossible. Please pass this on...
http://www.stellabrunermethven.com/
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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