Yep, that's what I've become!
This morning I realized that I hadn't registered Sadie with the sperm bank. I thought I'd check their website to see if they had online registration (they don't) and while I was there I noticed that our donor now has an audio recording.
The recording itself was a bit dull but the information provided was worth the $35 as we now know the identity of our donor.
We know his full name, his parents names, his siblings names, where he lives and went to school. We also have a current adult picture. He's really good looking - Sadie has his hairline! For the record, "white pages" has a scary amount of information. They list everyone in a household and he still lives at a home!
.I know this makes me a hypocrite since I didn't want to see half sibs yet when he dropped the identifying piece of info I knew I couldn't resist a date with Google. I honestly can't believe how easy it was.
Now the issue is figuring out what to do with this info. This is a huge invasion of his privacy. I've saved the picture and we'll show it to Sadie when she's older but I'm not sure we should tell her we know his name. She may want to contact him before she's 18. Does Sadie have the right to know his name more than he has the right to be anonymous?
I guess time will tell where this goes. We'll offer information as she asks but will limit it to what we feel is age appropriate.
Wait, I'm confused - he's an anon donor, but he said something that allowed you to identify him??
ReplyDeleteI would have net stalked too!
We know our donor's real identity too. Someone in our group found it when his girlfriend posted his donor id on his myspace. We know his name, have more pictures and video, know his wife and kid's name...yeah, a lot.
ReplyDeleteWe will not share his real name with our kids until they are 18 because that is legally what we agreed to. I think kids aren't ready to make contact earlier. We will share everything else we have though.
Wow, that was easy. I think we could find out who our donor is by the info we have too.
ReplyDeleteI probably would hang onto the information for my kids but not share it with them until they're at least 18 and depending on how interested they were in knowing who he is.
S. He's ID release... but yes, he said something that easily identified him. It was a combination of two statements that allowed us to Google, find him and verify against his profile within 15 minutes.
ReplyDeleteAngele - That's cool that you have so much info!
Re: letting them know before 18... I doubt we will but our kids will have all the same information we have now and it was not brain surgery to find him. I'm sure a determined 15 year old could find him!
ReplyDeleteWe're NOT going to offer any info up until asked. That's for sure!
I think if his intentions per the program was no contact before the child turns 18, then you should honor that. Donors in essence do us a favor by making their goods available to us. If in return they ask for some privacy until the child turns 18, then I think despite what we want to do for our own reasons or childs, we should respect that. JMO, not that it's worth much.
ReplyDeleteWow. I tried and tried to Google stalk our donor, but nothing he said was enough info to narrow it down. I agree that you should abide by your end of the agreement until Sadie is 18, but what an incredible find!
ReplyDelete