Day Care

D and I are starting to apply to waiting lists for a spot in January 2011 and I'm starting to panic. Did we wait too long?
I had originally said we'd do it at 12 weeks.
I'm now almost 25 weeks.
Oh shit.
We have our eye on a downtown Day Care that is a long shot. The problem with most of the centres in our area (that we like) are the "priority lists". For example, first dibs go to Alumni, Government/Public Service Employees, Employees working at X company, in X office tower. I guess that's what happens when you live where most people work and go to school.
We're being added to the (already existing) waitlist of the Day Care of our choice but priority is given to Public Service workers so we doubt we'll get a spot. We're going to have to apply to a few more and hope we get in.
Our end goal is to land a spot at a Montessori School by my work but that would start at 18 months/July 2011. We have a 6 month gap to fill if we get into that school otherwise most other Montessori's start at 2.5 years. So far I've seen so many Day Care Centres that start at 18 months. We have a 12 month mat leave and then we have to scramble to find care for the first 6 months back at work? And these were NOT Montessori - just regular Day Care that start at Toddler. I don't get it!
FX for finding a good spot. If all else fails we're going to have to cough up the $$ to send Sadie to one of the Centres in our office towers. Hopefully D's is nicer than mine because the one in my tower is very much the LAST RESORT - playground is near a popular smoking door. Um. Gross!!

Right now I'm calling Day Care Centres that are located in fancy Condo buildings and booking tours. That should be interesting!

Stamina

Wow. I really can't believe how tired I get -physically- after such a short period of time. I'm only just coming to terms with the fact that the things I want to do are not going to be as possible at this point. Like, you know, stalking celebrities?

I haven't had the chance to check out anything at TIFF (Toronto International Film Festival). D has been going out with one of our friends while I've been staying home. She went to the red carpet for the premier of Jennifer's Body and is down at Much Music right now for a Drew Barrymore interview.

I'm not bitter at all (honest) although I do fear that this is what old age is going to feel like and I'm not going to like it!!! One thing that IS driving me crazy is when people think pregnant women are "Milking it" or "Lazy". The reason I'm not going out and running my ass off is because I know my body can't handle it. I also know that I'll pay for it if I do.

I warned D that next year we'll have Sadie and TIFF will likely be completely off limits. She has assured me that this is her last hoorah.... and I believe her...!! On the flip side we may be able to use Sadie's stroller to push people out of the way for a better view. We'll just have to wait and see!!

Impatient

I can't believe I'm writing that word already. I'm just shy of 24 weeks!! I think it may have been my trip to L&D that has gotten me so antsy (btw, thank-you for your kinds words - everything really is ok).

In any case, I am resorting to writing a list of things I'm looking forward to other than giving birth.... and trust me, I'm not complaining about being pregnant. Ilove it! It's just that while we were TTC it seemed like calendar pages were flying past and now every day seems so slow.

Cue distractions... and since I'm a big entertainment junky I'll be adding the movies I'm looking forward to seeing first... and any other important things in there:

September: TV returns! Can't wait for the 2nd episode of Glee on Wednesday!

September 11 to 13: Toronto International Film Festival opening weekend.

September 13: My cousin's baby shower. Looking forward to it and also dreading it because it seems to be turning into a huge affair.

September 18: Jennifer's Body opens in theatres!

September 21: Report for Jury Duty! (Not really looking forward to this but at least it's not a Monday at work)

September 25: Fame opens in theatres!

October 2: Whip It! opens in theatres!

October 3: Friend's house warming party - get to check out his Flip!

October 6: 3D scan @ 28 weeks

October 10-12: Thanksgiving Long weekend

October 16-18: Prenatal weekend intensive

October 17: Get together/party with friends from High School

October 30: Youth In Revolt opens in theatres!

October 31: Halloween

November: Meet with Doula for the first of 2 prenatal appointments

November 8: Baby Shower #1 (Family) TBD

November 15: Put up the Christmas tree while watching the Santa Claus Parade!

November 20: New Moon (yes, I want to see it) opens in theatres!

November 22: Baby Shower #2 (Friends) TBD

December: Meet with Doula for second prenatal appontment

December 11: The princess and the Frog opens in theatres!

December 18: Last day of work!

I don't want to think of anything later than December 18th at this point because I know there is going to be D-R-A-M-A around Christmas. My parents delusionally expect that I'll still be coming in for Christmas Eve/Day, 5 days before my due date, an hour+ away from our hospital. Let's just leave it at that for now... I'm ignoring the issue that is slowly brewing.

Also, I should be adding in that we'll probably be working on Sadie's room and the condo, non-stop! We have cleared out so much already and have taken our first round of donations to Goodwill. Our friend has also agreed to let us use her storage locker (we do not have one) and is also taking our old dresser.

I guess I should be happy time is going by slowly so we can get stuff done but still.....!!

Visit to L&D

I've just spent the afternoon at Labor and Delivery and it wasn't for a tour. (Early end of story - I'm FINE) I went in after my nurse asked me to go to get tested to ensure I wasn't leaking amniotic fluid. OMG.
I'm not yet sure where to draw the line on asking questions vs. ignoring my body and if I ever should. For the record, I've only called twice. Once was for a numb spot on my belly (apparently normal) and the second was today when I told the nurse I thought I had a bladder infection. This is one of those times when I wish I could have a midwife. I'm sure it would be much easier communicating with them!! Instead, I get sent to L&D to be poked.
Honestly, I wasn't worried going in because I was certain I was peeing my pants - gotta love the reality of pregnancy. So I took my time and went to Chipotle Mexican Grill for a burrito first. I ate it in the center of Dundas Square while listening to live Cuban Music at the "Viva Cuba" festival and watching fighter jets zooming overhead (practicing for the air show). I was quite content until I saw the television crew (lunch time news) filming and thought that perhaps, since I'd left work, I should pack up and head over to the hospital.
This was my first time seeing the L&D floor and it was very nice and well secured. I had a giddy sense of excitement thinking about being there for delivery. Can December come quickly?
While checking in I had a good laugh as a new dad came out and said that his wife thought "the baby had pooped" and "do we need to change the diaper". Um... yes. The kid is YOURS now! The doctor looked at him and said she was only there up until the baby came out! They did say that someone would be along to help them but I still thought it was funny.
I was ushered to the waiting room for a brief time before I went into triage. They checked the heart rate of the baby by hooking me up to a machine. It was kind of hard to track because she's still so small. She was rolling around in there too so the sound coming out was like a needle being scratched across a record! I had an internal exam (the first since being pregnant) and it hurt so badly. After my 1.5 years of TTC I thought I was a speculum pro but NOT ANYMORE. OUCH. It was so bad I started to cry. A lot. It was pretty pathetic.
After the poking was done the doctor (who was a resident) did a quick scan to make sure the baby was moving fine. Overall she said I'm NOT leaking amniotic fluid and that it is most likely urine as I had suspected. The pain that I thought was a bladder infection may actually be my organs moving around. She asked that I monitor it since it may be an infection but to wait until next week to see how I feel.
So that was my Friday before a long weekend! Exciting!!
I guess you can never be too cautious but that is a scary thing to say to someone like ME. I'll be able to rest easy this weekend knowing we're both ok so that is a very good thing. I'm also happy to have received the attention they gave me. My concern, even though I wasn't really concerned, was taken VERY seriously. They did everything to make sure the baby and I were ok. They even gave me the number to Triage and told me what to watch out for. I was assured that it is OK to come in to get checked out. What a relief. I thought they'd look at me like the pain in the ass that I am but instead they were so welcoming!!

What a JOKE!!

I seem to be on a roll here with blogging. I have too much to say!

I got a letter in the mail from my previous RE - the one that I HATED. It stated that as of October she'd be moving her practice from Downtown Toronto to some far flung suburb. Good for her. The BEST part was the statement "I'd love to continue treating your infertility". Right. If we decided not to move with her it would cost "$50 for a referral to a new clinic". WTH? $50 when it's HER that's leaving?

My only regret througout TTC was staying with her for too long. I'm glad to see her go for the sake of those still stuck with her. Although.... it looks like she may have screwed over her patients one last time before going!!

It's a Girl!!

We've confirmed that Sadie does NOT have a penis. This time we were given a 100%!

Our appointment was better than I had expected it to be. For $65 we had a 15 minute session where we saw a good amount of our little girl - not just her girly bits. We were even shown her face in 3D and although she isn't chubby yet she *is* adorable! We also saw her feet in very good detail. It was amazing.
I left feeling satisfied to the point where I wondered if we'd actually go ahead with our 3D/4D appointment next month. D agreed. That one is $99 for 20 minutes and it includes a CD of the images. It's a long way off so we'll decide as the appointment comes closer.

We've been working hard on the room this week and I'm hoping that we can start making some progress with assembling it. For example, I didn't want to buy the rug for the room until we knew for sure and now we're able to. I'm also very eager to put up the decorations we've purchased.

I wish that all of my worries could be taken away as easily as this one. That would be perfect.

Take away my worries...

Although I would say that my pregnancy (so far) has been better than I ever would have expected, the one thing that has been bad has been my anxiety and paranoia. I know that a lot of this is hormonal but I also blame our TTC journey. I had an OB appointment yesterday and I discussed this with my doctor. I told him that I feel like “this is our only chance” and those feelings have only multiplied since finding out we’re having a girl. He said I’m completely normal and that many women go through this.
My problem is that I skip like a broken record when I get onto something that is bugging me. One of those things was our ultrasound tech at our 20 week scan and how she said she was only 70% positive we’re having a girl. At the time we were positive we saw “girl bits” and were satisfied. That was until someone posted on BBC that their “girl” was actually a “boy”. I knew this was a possibility because I know someone IRL that had a surprise boy. Queue the broken record… I got it into my head that Sadie may not be a Sadie!!
Honestly, in the grand scheme of things, this is the pettiest worry I’ve had. I will not offer up any of the panic-inducing medical scenarios I come up with just in case someone is reading that is like me and will go off worrying too. The fact is, those worries are not worthy of the time it would take to explain them. I know I’m crazy.
Anyway, I want a second opinion regarding the sex and I don’t want to wait until my 3D ultrasound in October. My reason for this is that I do not want to ruin our 3D ultrasound by being upset by a surprise if there was one. I want to enjoy it as a bonding experience between us and the baby so I’ve booked a gender determination ultrasound for tonight. It’s going to be $65 to clear my mind of a worry that I do need not to carry with me for the next month. Of course the first person I told this to turned to me and said that “ultrasounds aren’t safe”. Sigh. LIKE I NEEDED THAT!
Some may think I’m stupid for doing this but I never could have imagined how intense my feelings are for our baby. I don’t care if she is actually a he but it DOES mean something when you are falling in love and calling them by their name. I love Sadie so much and I’m not up for surprises at this point.
FX.